RESULTS: Monday Night Raw Mar 17, 1997

COMMERCIAL

Fog billows by the camera. Then a voice is heard.

"Let all in the WWF cower in fear, for the most destructive duo in history return at Wrestlemania, and they won't leave a brick standing."

Two black gauntleted fists then smash into each other from either side of the screen. The gauntlets have small, sharp metal spikes on them.

As they slam together laughter is heard, from two deep voices. As the fists pull apart, there is some blood both sets of spikes. Then both hands open and the screen is blacked out by them. A small light appears in the darkness, it is comming toward the screen. As it gets closer it is a laughing, flaming skull, that flies right at the screen, laughing insanily, and it eats the screen causeing a bright flash of light and then the screen goes to static.

(Raw Theme Plays)

ANNOUNCER'S TABLE

Pillman: Alright! We're north of the border here.... buncha Canadian idiots... WINNIPEG, CANADA! It's too COLD up here! I don't LIKE this! It's FREEZIN'!

Heart Attack: I'll bet the EMPIRE doesn't like that at all, huh?

Pillman: No, we just don't like YOU.

Heart Attack: The feeling is mutual, believe me.

Pillman: Yeah, whatever... tonight we have the last two I/C tournament bouts. Perfect and Razor... and JoBo versus... DERRICK STARDOM! Hey Heart Attack! Did you see Superstars? Looks like you have some competition! But I may have eliminated her for ya! Hahahaha! Was that BLOOD or HAIR DYE!

Publican: A little bit of both I think!

Pillman: Just doin' you a favor, Heart Attack!

Heart Attack: I don't want your favors.

Pillman: Ha! I know for a FACT that Stardom won't be making it out of the first round! He tried to make the Empire look bad! We don't need people doin' that! WAIT! Let me re-phrase that!

Heart Attack: Hahaha!

Pillman: Oh yeah! Real funny! You couldn't have thought of that yourself! There's a couple tag bouts tonight... odd pairings. THP and Brutus the Bartender Beefcake against the Enforcers. Enforcer's are gonna KILL 'EM! Then... Vader and Jarrett will CREAMATE the Hart Foundation! I can't WAIT!

Heart Attack: Do you think Jarrett and Vader can work together as a tag team?

Pillman: Absolutely! Why NOT!

Publican: They've been alright together so far!

Heart Attack: Well, I'd have to say the Hart Foundation will be a real test for them.

Pillman: Yeah... they're a good tag team. But they can't beat the HEAT! And at WrestleMania, they won't be able to beat US! We seperate the MEN from the BOYS now. They're a good tag team... the Empire has GREAT tag teams! Yeah! Also tonight, Wild Chylde DiBiase, on her way to WrestleMania... she'll face... ooooh! Atlantra! Did you see her get the Road Warriors... COVERED in seaweed? Hahahaha!

Heart Attack: Did you find out of those pearl cufflinks came from her?

Pillman: They may have! I don't know! (thinks) Well, also tonight, Lady Tyr is going to embarass herself against the latest Rebirth member... VERTIGO! Maybe we'll find out the even NEWER members' identity!

Heart Attack: Vertigo has an even worse record then I do! And that's saying something.

Pillman: That's sayin' you're LYING! NOBODY could have a worse record then YOU!

Heart Attack: (looking at Publican) I don't know... I remember SOMEBODY a while back that may give me a run for my money! Somebody at this TABLE!

Pillman: What are you talking about?

Publican: Nobody here!

Pillman: Jeez! You put Stardom on the card, and you go nuts! Hey... look at THIS! Giant vs. Sid! Sid... don't even BOTHER!

Publican: The Giant is going to DESTROY Sid!

Pillman: Heart Attack... what are you doing? Did you lose your notes?

Heart Attack: No! I don't have any notes!

Pillman: Oh yeah... you're going from memory... hence you haven't spoken much!

Heart Attack: I can't possibly compete with you two motor mouths!

Pillman: The information Super Highway is very wise to take a detour through the Publican and Pillman!

Publican: We have so much to say!

Heart Attack: (to Publican) All you do is agree with him!

Publican: Do you want me to agree with an airhead instead?

Pillman: Hahaha! Let's get to Psycho Sid... standing by ready for his loss to the Giant. Let's go to him now.