RESULTS: Monday Night Raw Mar. 24, 1997

They turn to the announcer's table and toss Pillman a hair brush and some curlers.

Pillman: That's it. Feed the bears.

Animal: Hawk doesn't Pillman's hair look pretty.

Hawk: Such a pretty shade of red! How do you do it, pretty boy?

Hawk and Animal erupt into laughter

Pillman: (angrily) Dance on the land mines.

Animal: Harlem Heat, you punks!!! You think you've got famous friends? We are going to bring a few friends of our own.

Hawk: You amy know of them... The first is a real MAN. In fact he may just be the most deadly man in existance.

Animal: A real Terminator, if you know what I mean.

Hawk: That's right, Heat. Our good friend Arnold Schwarzenegger will be coming down to ring side with us. He alone can flatten a dozen of Coolio's little bodygaurds!!!

Animal: And you want music?! We'll have a REAL musician coming with us!!! Alanis Morissette!!!

Hawk: She show Coolio a thing or two about music. In fact she has made a little song about you losers!!!

Animal: You have SIX days left. You better have fun now, because after our match the only thing you'll be able to do is drool!!!

Hawk: This is it punks!!! Everything is on line!!! In fact let's up the stakes just a little bit more!!! The loser of the match must bow and kneel to the winner.

Animal: So practice your bowing, losers!!!! You whole world ends in just six short days!!!

Hawk: What a ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuush!!!!!

Roxanne and the Road Warrior's leave together to the cheers of the fans.

Jim Ross is in the back, still. A defeated Vertigo and Dream walk past him, brushing into him a bit. He wisely chooses to say nothing.

JR: Well, the list of celebrities gets LONGER and LONGER! I'm almost SURE that'll be it! WrestleMania attracts the stars, that's for sure! It seems that Roxanne knows how to handle the supernatural powers of the darkside. She has the fans on her side. But Womankind is still unpredictable! We all remember the war she and Wild Chylde had last year at the Slammy's! I sure hope what they say about the Exorcism Match ISN'T true! It would be a tragedy if Roxanne couldn't make it through!

JR: The Exorcism Match... just SIX days away at WrestleMania! Roxanne vs. the woman that injured her leg last year... Womankind!

JR: Now, let's go to... the Hitman Bret Hart! He's standing by, and getting ready for his match with Stevie Ray of the Unified Tag Team Champions, Harlem Heat!

BRET HART PRE-MATCH COMMENTS

We see the Hitman wearing his sunglasses, singlet and Calgary Hitmen leather Jacket.

Hitman: Oooh Stevie, you are going to kick my ass? Will it be anything like how Booker did it two weeks ago? hey how about this, if you are sooo woried about the Anvil getting in the ring, I will promise he will not get in the ring and interfere if Booker and any other Empire member, or friend of the Empire also does not interfere. What is that? Oh yes cheating is what you are all about, oh and then saying everyone else cheats. Yes a class act, you boys should try politics, I mean noone trusts or believes a politician either. Now I face Stevie Ray, in my quest to take down the Empire piece by piece. Stevie, the power man of the team, will I take him lightly? No, he is a good wrestler,

(Anvil's voice: HA!)

And he could get lucky, but Stevie you are stepping in the ring with the best there is the best there was and the best there ever will be so be prepared to run home to your mommy crying because you are going down. Anvil's Voice: HAHAHAHA!!!!!! I will guarentee there will be no funny business. Especially from the peanut gallery, or should I say Pillhead gallery. You know Bret we should do something about the EMpire having two mouthpieces and us having none. . . but for now. lets have some FUN!

(Bret frowns a little at the camera, which is obviously were the Anvil is and heads out)