RESULTS: Monday Night Raw Mar. 31, 1997

KEVIN KELLY INTERVIEWS THE HARLEM HEAT

Kelly:Um,ladies and gentlemen,right now we have an in...

Stevie Ray:Shut up yo skinny little puke and get outta my face!!!

Kelly:But...

Stevie Ray:What?I THINK I HEARD SOMTN!Didja say somtn puke?(to Kevin Kelly)

Kelly:No,no!!!I just wanted to take an interview!

Booker T:OH,is that whatcha want?Is it?Okay,do it!!!

Kelly:As we all know you guys LOST the Scaffold match and lost your Tag Team belts,wha...

Booker T:We lost that match???WE WON THAT MATCH!!!Ya know something,Kev?I'm tired of all this crap in WWF!!!First of all,I have that Hot Dog Rowdy Piper in minskirt sitting in his office signing stupid matches!!!I mean what is that?Scaffold Match!!!THIS EVEN AIN'T NO MATCH!!If you push a guy you don't beat a guy!!!

Kelly:You did lose though...

Booker T:Shut up!!!Piper,you little chipmunk!!!Y'know,I am surprised why didn't Piper sign a swimming contest for tag belts!!!Lemme tell ya,title defense is title defense and we don't need no crap there!!!ANd we still would've been Tag Champs if not that Rowdy Loser!!!DAMMIT!!

Kelly:You seem so upset...

Stevie Ray:WE ARE UPSET!!!Cause these two pieces of crap can not and never could wrestle!!!ANd I AM ASHAMED OF LOSING TO THEM!!!

Booker T:The bottom line is that we blame Shawn Michaels,Demolition,Piper...and the WHOLE WWF for our loss.And you,Kelly,how many times do I have to tell you to update yo stupid report you freak?You updated it faster for Road Warriors didn't ya?

Kelly:N...

(Stevie gets a chair and nails Kevin Kelly from behind.Booker legdrops him.Then picks him up and powerbombs him.Booker delivers Harlem Hangover.Stevie delivers piledriver and belly to belly.Kevin Kelly is out cold,bleeding.Booker picks him up and throws him out of the ring)

Booker T:The bottom line is that EVERYONE GET OUTTA OUR WAY!!!We will retain titles withing a month and that is a guarantee!!!Hart Foundation,we challenge you to a mtch for 1st contender next RAW,the winner will get title shot!!ANd,I want shot at Road Warriors as soon as possible,anytime anywhere,any second AND WE'RE GONNA KICK THEIR ASSES!!!And,speaking of tonight's RAW,everyone better be careful cause we will and have someone hurt!!!Road Warriors,kiss those belts good bye right now!!

Stevie Ray:Cause we're men on a mission!!!And speaking of Demolition,go back to school boys and demolition your old fat history teacher cause we'll make you eat crap losers!!!!!AND THAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE!!!

(They leave without any music)

JR: OH MY! THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME! I SHOULD HAVE DONE THE INTERVIEW! POOR KEVIN KELLY! HE NEEDS MEDICAL ATTENTION!!

(After a few minutes, paramedics come rushing down the aisle to help out the beleagured announcer.)