RESULTS: Monday Night Raw Mar. 31, 1997

The Anvil sees at the last second! DDP swings the chair and the Anvil ducks out of the way... but Bret gets it in the back of the head! The Anvil yells out and runs at DDP... but gets bashed HARD in the face!

Corey comes up behind DDP and HOOKS HIS ARMS!!! DDP drops the chair!!

Corey: (with DDP hooked) HIT HIM ANVIL! HIT HIM!!

But the Anvil is still recovering from the chair shot. DDP pulls free of Corey... but Major then KNEELIFTS HIM IN THE SMALL OF THE BACK!!! Corey goes to grab a hold of him again... but DDP whips him HARD to the corner...

The Hart Foundation reorganizes. Bret KICKS DDP in the back and Page flips out of the ring, running away, outnumbered. Corey, Bret and Anvil all look hurt. They help each other from the ring to the applauds of the fans.

JR: MAN O MAN! I'm not sure we can keep up with all this! First the Heat... then DDP! What's going on?!

Sarah D: I have no idea!

Pillman then comes hobbling down to the ring on TWO crutches. He looks to be in a great deal of pain. He REALLY favors his leg. He comes up to the table and has a seat.

Pillman: (sad) Oh man! Look at what just happened there! (pauses.. then gets excited) WASN'T IT GREAT!! HAHAHAHA!!

Sarah D: You WOULD think it was great!

Pillman: I had to come down here because there's a phone call. It's been ringing for 20 minutes now... but you guys are too stupid to know how to answer it!

Sarah D: It HAS not.

JR: I've been keeping a CLOSE eye on it Brian. It has NOT been ringing!

Pillman: Shut up! Now let's put the call through. Let's hear it!

Sabrina's voice cuts in over the speakers.

Sabrina: BRIAN! I CAN'T BELIEVE THEIR KEEPING ME HERE! THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS!

Pillman: WHAT'S GOING ON?

Sabrina: I'm STUCK in JAIL!!! (breathes out angrily) I couldn't even find out what happened at WrestleMania! What HAPPENED?

Pillman: You won't BELIEVE how the Hart Foundation CHEATED! They BUM rushed me... then beat on... on my sore leg! They put me in the Sharpshooter... I had NO choice but to give up... just so I could continue having a wrestling career and a livelihood! It was HORRIBLE!

Sabrina: Don't you worry! We'll get them for that!

Pillman: You should have seen it just a few seconds ago! The Harlem Heat were out here... beating them up with CHAIRS! They hit that punk Corey Major, too!

Sabrina: Well, at least SOMETHING good happened!

Pillman: I'm glad you got your ONE PHONE CALL through to US! I'm at least somebody that can HELP YOU!

Sabrina: That's RIGHT! I need to get OUT OF HERE! But don't worry! I know what to do! I'll be out in NO TIME! AND HEART ATTACK... YOU LITTLE BITCH! DON'T THINK I CAN'T GET YOU FROM IN HERE... BECAUSE I CAN!

Pillman: Just like the MOB!

Sabrina: That's RIGHT! And in the meantime... Brian... I need to talk to you without the whole arena hearing.

Pillman: Oh, absolutely! We'll make this personal! We all know Jim Ross can't keep HIS fat mouth shut! Sarah D? She's a fountain of mis-information... she's just BOUND to get all the facts twisted! Let me put you through so just I can hear you!

Pillman hits a button and brings the receiver up to his ear. He listens...

Pillman: Uh-huh. Yeah. (pauses) YES! Haha! You got it! Alright... see you SOON!

Pillman puts the phone back and gets up, bracing himself on his crutches. He hobbles out as JR and Sarah D watch him curiously.

JR: Well, hopefully this next segment will go off without a hitch. I've got an interview to do.

Jim Ross gets up from the table and into the ring, just as the Harts and Corey disappear behind the curtains...

JIM ROSS INTERVIEWS...

JR: Would you please welcome JoBo and his manager ZoBo!!

(ZoBo and JoBo come through the curtains to a silence from the crowd)

JR: Last weekend at Wrestlemania I talked to you two, and you spoke of VADER. Now that he is champion, what are your thoughts??

ZoBo: VADER!! My JoBo issues you a challenge for the Intercontinental Title. My JoBo will prove that he is not just a rookie, but a WWF Superstar!!

JoBo: VADER!! JoBo beat VADER! JoBo win title. JoBo happy.

ZoBo: Now, SNOWFLAKE!!! You beat my JoBo, and proclaim you are great. Well my JoBo would like a rematch with you, next week on RAW!!

JR: A challenge has been issued by ZoBo! Thank you gentlemen.