RESULTS: Monday Night Raw June 16, 1997

BADD BOY DERRICK STARDOM PRE-MATCH INTERVIEW

Dok Hendriks is standing in the back, under the WWF logo.

Dok: Hellllooooo wrestling fans! Smilin' Dok here... and I am about to introduce to you.... Badd Boy Derrick Stardom! BUT FIRST! We all know about his little 'Lights Out' bit that he does. And it ALWAYS leaves me in the DARK! Welllll.... not TONIGHT!

Dok reaches off camera and brings in a MINER'S CAP with a floodlight set on the top. Then he pulls in a tool belt with flash lights hanging on the sides. He pulls it on and looks at the camera....

Dok: I got THIS idea from watching Starr Blaze and her BATONS!

Dok checks the flashlights and sees that there IS batteries in them. He clicks on the miners cap... and sees the light come on. He nods approvingly... then turns it off.

Dok: Ladies and Gentlemen... please welcome... BADD BOY DERRICK STARDOM... ALONG WITH HEART ATTACK!!

Stardom walks out, dressed in his black tuxedo jacket with a sequinned bowtie, white gloves and sunglasses. Heart Attack is on his arm, wearing a leather jacket over a black mini-dress. Stardom takes a look at Dok's get-up and chuckles. Dok smiles confidently at him.

Dok: Welcome Mr. Stardom and Heart Attack! Before we get to the match tonight, I'd like to say congratulations on receiving a column in the WWF Magazine. I hear it will be called... ADVICE FOR THE LOVELORN?

Stardom: Exactly right. BBDS will be telling all the potential BADD BOYS out there just HOW to treat a LADY! And Heart Attack here.....

Heart Attack: ...Will be helping all you girls get the man of your dreams.

She winks at Derrick.

Dok: Last night we saw Corey and Wild Chylde take their first step to taking the VOWS! Any wedding plans for YOU TWO? You DO make a BEAUTIFUL couple!

Stardom: I'll defer to H.A.... and let this HOT NUMBER field THAT one!

Heart Attack: Derrick and I aren't ready to settle down yet I think. Do we look like the settling types?

Dok: Well... I guess you're right! Let's get down to BUSINESS! Tonight... it's MR.FLAWLESS... AKA Diamond Dallas Page!

Stardom: AKA the EAR-BITER! Hendriks, listen to me when I say...if it comes down to just Page and ME... he will NOT be leaving the ring under his own power. I am prepared to take ANY KIND OF FINE that the WWF can throw at me. BBDS does not have the backing of Sabrina Savage's money any longer, but that doesn't mean I am in the POOR HOUSE! It DOES mean that PAGE... is in the DOG HOUSE... which is AKA... THE LITTLE HOUSE OF THE FAIRIE! I'm gonna to drop the celestial HEAVENS down on that rickety house and break his diamond-shaped HEAD into little itty, bitty pieces, and burn his pale skin right off of his sack-a-bones SELF with the unrelenting FORCE known ONLY as the STARFALL!!!

Dok: Well.... you...

Stardom: HENDRIKS... it WON'T be a pretty SIGHT! But when's the last time you SAID DALLAS PAGE WAS a pretty sight?

Dok: Well.... I.....

Stardom: Hold that thought...BRIGHT BOY! You KNOW what comes new!

Dok: WAIT... HA HA!!!

Dok turns on the lamp on his miner's cap, casting a bright beam of light.

Stardom: LIGHTS OUT!!

The lights click off... but Dok's cap floods the room. Heart Attack kisses her hand and blows it up to the lamp... AND IT GOES OUT!!

Dok is then heard pulling out his flash lights! They click ON, cutting beams of light through the interview area. Dok holds them like they were pistols. Stardom pulls his hands up, as if out of holsters. He click-BANGS at ONE... IT GOES OUT! He click-BANGS at the OTHER! IT GOES OUT!!

The room is plunged into TOTAL DARKNESS!

Dok: I CAN'T WIN!!!!

Stardom: The pleasure.... was all YOURS!