WWF Superstars, June 21, 1997WWF Superstars, June 21, 1997KING'S COURT
The King is shown sitting on a leather couch, placed inside what looks like a very well kept and expensive home. He wears his crown and usual outfit, and is seated in front of a television.
King: Welcome, peons, to a VERY VERY special edition of the King's Court! We're on location this week, at the home of one of the WWF's most recognized and legendary stars ... ME!! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! That's right, peons! Welcome to the King's CASTLE!
King: As you can see, I've surrounded myself with ONLY the finest furnature! Look at this table right here! Handcrafted in Italy, specially for The King!
The camera suddenly pans down, showing a phonebook supporting one of the table legs.
King: HEY! What are you doing?! Keep the camera on ME, moron! Look at this couch! The finest leather in the world, shipped to me from the seaside ports of ...
The camera zooms in on a section of the couch, where duct tape tries to keep some of the couch's stuffing inside. The camera suddenly jerks back up, showing Lawler's face.
King: HEY!! What did I tell you?! Do you want to get paid or not?
The camera moves up and down, signalling a yes.
King: Good! Then do as I say, moron! As you look around, peons, you can see that The King has MANY famous friends, some of whom are right here in my den. Hey, look! There's Double J and Pamela Anderson!
The camera spins around, hoping to catch a glimpse of the 2, but it finds nothing ... except what appears to be a cardboard cutout of Roxanne standing in a corner! It spins back towards the King, and finds him stopped at a shelf ... standing by a signed PICTURE of Jarrett and Pamela.
King: Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! Take a look! "You are GREATER THAN GREAT!" signed Jeff Jarrett! "Best wishes!" signed Pamela Anderson! You know, peons, it's things like this that really make it special to be like me, cause ...
The camera zooms in on the picture ... which is signed "To Steve"?!? The King notices the camera, and quickly puts the picture face down.
King: Uhhh, we've seen enough of that! Let me show you the reason I've brought you all here today, peons.
The King moves towards the large TV and entertainment set, which is set up in his den.
King: As you all saw this week on TNT, that IDIOT The Blizzard tried to put his hands on the King ... and PAID for it! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! Right now, I'd like you to take a look at some things during this match. Go on and watch!
The King pops a tape into the VCR, and the camera moves to the couch and sits down, showing the screen.
King: Watch right here ... we see the Blizzard coming to the ring. But WAIT! What's he doing?! Passing out ICE CREAM?! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Lawler continues laughing hysterically, as the camera picks up a bowl of chips on the table in front of the couch. The camera moves in, a hand is seen outstretched, a chip is picked up, and a loud CHOMP is heard.
King: HEY! I'm not paying you to eat! Here, look at THIS!
The screen fast forwards quickly through the match, as Lawler slows the tape.
King: OK, look here! I've got the Blizzard up ... PILEDRIVER!! Whoo Hoo Hoo Hoo!! And right in front of Roxanne, too! Here's the pin! NO! There's NO pin! Why not?!
The screen shows the referee arguing with Jim Cornette, who is standing on the ring apron.
King: Jimmy Cornette is distracting the referee! Now I heard the announcers say that Cornette's distraction may have HELPED me later on, but look here! I've got the match won RIGHT THERE! If the ref had counted, it'd be over! Cornette, I don't know what your problem is ... you're probably BITTER cause my pal Double J BEAT Vader for the I/C title ... he BEAT him when he was the World Champion ... he BEAT both Demolition in the back ... he's better than ALL of you!
King: But I've got some POWERFUL friends around here, Cornette! And if you ever stick your nose into MY business again, I'll see that it gets BROKEN OFF ... regardless of whether you've got your finger up it or not! You just keep away from me!
King: But what I REALLY wanted to show you morons today is what happened BEFORE the match! Take a listen to this!
The King rewinds the tape, until it reaches the Blizzard's pre-match interview. Lawler hits the play button and the tape starts. The Blizzard's pre-match words can be heard.
King: Now WHAT did he just say?! Did he say ... I heard him say I insulted HIM! Which isn't true! I just told him the TRUTH! He said I'd pay for it ... which ALSO isn't true, as we know. But did he say ... that I'd insulted SUNNY?!?
The camera moves up and down, giving a yes.
King: Is he INSANE?!
The camera again moves up and down.
King: Have I EVER said a bad thing about Sunny on TV? During a King's Court?
The camera moves from side to side, signalling no.
King: Have I EVER said something bad about Sunny in the back?!
The camera again moves from side to side.
King: I thought so! Blizzard, I don't know what your problem is, but ... Jim Ross, if you're listening, I CHALLENGE you to find something in all your history reports where I said something bad about Sunny! You CAN'T do it!
King: Actually, DON'T do that, JR! I'll ask Sunny MYSELF! That's right, peons! As soon as Sunny is feeling up to returning, she'll do just that ... and she'll do it on the King's Court!! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! It's a done deal!
King: Well, thank me for being here this week, peons. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! And feel privleged that you've been able to see at least ONE room in the Castle! I'll see you next time for another King's Court, when my guest will be ... well, you'll just have to TUNE IN and find out! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! So long, peons!
The camera remains showing Lawler's face. The King glances up.
King: Turn it OFF, moron!
Man: I'm trying!
The camera shakes back and forth a bit, but still shows The King's face, which turns red with anger.
King: You IDIOT!!
Lawler's arms reach out towards the screen, and suddenly the view moves UP ...
Man: Don't break -
And then sharply DOWN!
*static*