RESULTS: Monday Night Raw June 9, 1997

BRIAN PILLMAN

Brian Pillman is kicked back, somewhere in the arena. He's reclining on a bean bag chair, sipping some lemonade. You cannot see the floor, because he must have narly 250 foam WWF belts from the souveneir stand. He takes a sip of lemonade from a straw and smiles at the camera.

Pillman: Aahhhhh. Life... is good. The King of the Ring is just around the corner... and I will become the WORLD CHAMPION! And of course, Stone Cold will win the King of the Ring and become the TV champion. And of course.... COREY MAJOR BEAT BRET HART!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Pillman tosses his glass of lemonade clear across the room. You hear it shatter off camera. Pillman wades through the foam belts, kicking them.

Pillman: And they ask me... HOW DO I DO IT? How do I know all the DIRT!? What about my scoops on the HOTLINE! And on my WEB PAGE!? Well... I can't take ALL the credit! At this time, I'd like to thank the good people at Panasonic... for creating such a noiseless video camera. Because just like I said... Corey BEAT Bret... and there just HAD to be SOMETHING going on in the Hart's locker room after THAT upset. Wouldn't you think?

Pillman: Well... let's take a look, shall we?

Pillman sits back down in the bean bag chair.

Pillman: (yelling off camera) AND SOMEBODY BRING ME SOME MORE F'N LEMONADE!!!

We see the Hart Foundation lockerroom again, and the door opens, in walks the Hitman Bret Hart, and behind him comes the Anvil, who has a large grin on his face.

Anvil: Jeez Bret, at least you did not lose to his head lock, but what did it take you to lose 5 minutes?

Bret: Jim let it lie.

Anvil: No, I don't think so so far you have lost three matches in a row, so what is wrong.

Bret: Not a thing, so I have lost three matches I could have won any one of them.

Anvil: AND THAT'S my fragging point. Normally you WOULD have won each of those matches, you had chances in each of them but you did not win. Why?

Bret. . . gimme a break Jim.

Anvil: The reason is you have lost your aggressive edge, you are reacting not acting in your matches, and they are taking it to you and winning. Bret, you have been spending time in your office pushing papers and returning calls, you have cut back to an hour a day in the gym and you are on a losing streak that will soon rival the Blizzard's.

Bret glares at the Anvil.

Anvil: You know what Bret, you have a match against the GIANT on RAW, the Giant, if you hessitate or do not act he will mulch you, he will kick your ass, and probally injure you.

Bret continues to glare at the Anvil.

Anvil: You know what Bret, I don't think you can take the Giant, I think you have lost your edge, and i think that I am not going to let you wrestle him.

Bret: (standing up and getting in the Anvil's face) WHAT the hell are you talking about!

Anvil: Read your contract Bret, you are offically a TAG TEAM wrestler, and I am in CHARGE of our team now, and since this match is not tag team, I could say if you wrestle it you will be in breach of contract. . . So I don't think you will be wrestling him.

Bret: You son of a b*** you wouldn't.

Anvil: Hmmmm, maybe not, maybe I iwll just get rid of you, and get an aggressive wrestler, maybe Vader, maybe one of Pg-13, hell maybe Pee-Wee Herman, anyone would be more aggressive than you, Bret you have lost it, and I am disgusted with you.

Bret hits the Anvil with a right cross, and then looks horrified what he did.

The Anvil glares right at Bret, and laughs.

Anvil: HAHAHA! Alright! That is what I was looking for, God Damn it, I was wondering when you would stick up for yourself, sheesh I was begingin to wonder what i needed to say to get you riled up. Here I put something in your locker, I think you'll like it.

Bret looks a little happier, but also a bit confused, and heads to his locker, but looks into the next one, right at the camera.

Bret: Jim, did you check the room for camera's before the match?

Anvil: Nah, I checked before the Austin match and there was nothing there, so I figure he gave up.

Bret: Jim, check this locker.

The Anvil comes up to the locker and finds it locked, and gets a crazy look on his face. he starts kicking the locker until it is bent, and he rips the door off, exposing the camera.

Anvil: SON OF A BI**, (He grabs the camera, pushing his face right by the lens) PILLMAN YOU AS***LE I am GOING TO F*****G KILL YOU!!! IF YOU SHOW THIS YOU BETTER BE LOOKING BEHIND YOUR SHOULDER, 'CAUSE I WILL BE THERE! RRRRAAAAGGGGHHH!!!

He rips the camera out of the locker, shakes it and it looks like the camera is falling and spinning, the lens shows the ground rushing up toward it then static.

The camera comes back to show Pillman. He has a look of FEAR on his face. He quickly disguises it with hysterical LAUGHTER!!

Pillman: Hey... it's called FREEDOM OF THE PRESS! I think the fans SHOULD know what's going on with their heroes! And Anvil... DON'T try anything! You've got ENOUGH to worry about! Namely... DEMOLITION! But if you think AX and SMASH aren't enough for you....

Pillman stands up and throws the bean bag down. He kicks it! He picks up some of the belts and tosses them down! HE'S BERSERK!!

Pillman: I'll give you KICK... AND PUNCH... AND PUMMEL... AND MAIN... AND CRACK.. AND WHACK... AND SMACK... AND....

The camera fades out as Pillman continues to go BALLISTIC in his room.