WWF Superstars, July 19, 1997

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BRIAN F'N PILLMAN & STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN

Pillman climbs up into the ring with a microphone.

Pillman: SIMMER DOWN! SIMMER DOWN! It is now time for one of the few segments here on this program that isn't afraid to let the truth be told. In fact, ANY TIME I bring the microphone up to my mouth and speak the things in my mind, you can bet your last cent that you will hear NOTHING... but the TRUTH!

Pillman: And the truth right now... is that HE'S BACK!!! For the first time since In Your House... it's STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN!!!

There is the sound of glass breaking, then Stone Cold's music erupts from the speakers! Austin breaks through the curtains like an out of control locomotive. He carries the TV title belt with him like an afterthought as he marches down the aisle and rolls into the ring. He glares around at everyone, and even Pillman seems a little nervous.

Pillman: STEVE! Welcome BACK!

Austin: YOU might be welcoming me back, but there's a damn HORDE of individuals that would just as soon put a gun to my head and pull the trigger... or better yet, blow their OWN brains out their ear... rather then see me back in the WWF.

Pillman: Steve, maybe you can bring everyone here in the arena up to speed. What's got you ticked off?

Austin: Everywhere I look, all I see is stupidity. On one hand, you got that gargantuan goofball King Mabel, trying to interfere in my match. What the hell is he thinking... standing on the apron, telling me to throw Stardom to him when I'm flat on my back lookin' up at the ceiling. I hear a lot of people sayin... well why does he get to call himself King? I'm the $%# damn King of the Ring, and he ain't beaten NOBODY to earn that. Jerry Lawler's done whooped peoples asses before... but King Mabel... he ain't done $#it! This piece of trash is gonna lose to a WOMAN in just a little while. The damn fool's got a girls name anyhow, so after he loses tonight ...Mabel, you ain't gonna be King , Queen... or court JESTER, but you sure as hell can be my SERVING WENCH!!

Pillman: HAHAHA!!! We could get him to do impossible tasks... and watch as he flouders around and tries to do it. Mabel... go buy me a pet velociraptor.... Mabel... drain the ocean, it's too full.... Mabel, educate Sunny.... But Steve... there's MORE isn't there?

Austin: Next, you got that jackass who done looked like he was dressed by Ray Charles, Jim Cornette! I see him standin' out here, gettin' all up in a frenzy 'cause his boy can't win no matches on his own.. and he wants to blame Sabrina. Well, son, when you blame her, you can sure as hell blame ME. And I HATE gettin' the blame for ANYTHING! Cornette, you best get down on your polyester hands and knees and cough up an apology to Sabrina Savage or else I'll choke it out of you, you piece of TRASH!

Pillman: HAHAHA!! But Steve... you STILL look a little upset! Is there anything else you want to get off your chest?

Austin: Your damn RIGHT! Next, you got Taylor Tech, the only stable who's best move would be to send Todd Pettingill down with a wiffle ball bat to swat flies outta the air! They done existed 'cause Sabrina Savage said they damn well COULD!

Pillman: Can you BELIEVE what Terry Taylor attempted to perpetrate on Monday Night Raw? He's resorted to the Corporate Machine's finishing maneuver of attacking a member of the opposite gender.

Austin: 'Opposite gender?' I ain't seen none of that. All I done saw was Terry Taylor trying to hit a WOMAN! And he couldn't get it done. The best punch that son of a bitch could throw would need two scoops of water to make, and comes in his choice of three flavors. Well, son, if you want to step up face to face with Stone Cold Steve Austin, I'll give you a flavor in your mouth that tastes like BLOOD, you suit-wearin' FREAK!

Pillman: His 'stock market's gonna CRASH when Austin 3:16 runs OVER it! Hahaha!!! And we BOTH already beat the Giant! Steve... remember when you beat the crap outta the Machine, just because you wanted his music? That was CLASSIC!

Austin: Brian, I ain't done yet. I wanna talk about the man that done put me out of action for the whole damn week... Badd Boy Derrick Stardom.

Pillman quickly wheels around and looks at Austin straight on.

Pillman: C'mon Steve... let's not go there.

Austin: I see you drivin' up in the Derrick Stardom bandwagon... and buyin' his shirts that nobody gives two cents for. If it wasn't for him, I'da been there on Raw to take care of business.

Pillman: Easy Steve... Stardom's with us now.

Austin looks around, as if searching.

Austin: I don't see his little dancing ass out here.

Pillman: Sabrina signed him. He'll fight with us. C'mon Steve... let's wrap this up... what's the Bottom Line?

Austin: Naw! Shut up! Don't wrap me up, Brian! You know better then THAT! I got things on my mind about Derrick Stardom and I'm gonna let it out right now!

Pillman: C'mon Steve... when he injured you, he didn't know the plan yet. You gotta cut him THAT!

Austin: I'll cut him alright, now hold that damn microphone STILL, BRIAN!

Pillman yanks at the cord, ripping it out. A loud POP comes from the speakers... then silence up in the ring. Austin grabs the mic and throws it down... looking VERY angry. A scared Pillman backs up.

Austin motions to the dressing room, then to Heart Attack, then to the back again... then he leaps from the ring and storms to the back. Pillman looks worried, as he heads back down to the table.

JR: Austin ... the man with the personality of a RATTLESNAKE! He don't care for the way Austin man-handled him at In Your House.

Pillman: THAT'S not it at ALL, Ross! Quit snacking during the segments and listen! He just wants to go tell him... welcome to the FOLD! That's all! Uhhh... Heart Attack... is Derrick... um... back there?

Heart Attack: YES! Way to GO, Pillman! You just started a FIGHT, didn't you?

Pillman: NO! Austin... well.. he's just got something to say!

JR: Oh, you did it NOW, Brian! You've worked so hard playing up to Stardom and now you got Austin mad!

Pillman: SHUT UP!!! EVERYBODY!!! Leave it ALONE!!