RESULTS: Monday Night Raw August 11, 1997

VENUS VICTRIX PRE-MATCH INTERVIEW

Venus Victrix is walking down the hallway, smiling and waving at her fans. She is wearing a new trenchcoat. Tito Santana runs up for an interview.

Santana: Venus..VENUS VICTRIX! A few comments before your match with the Sex Symbol, River Wyld!

Venus: Yeah, I sure do. You know River, you remind me of a little boy I used to beat up. I was six, he was twelve. The moral of the story is, I WALKED AROUND HIM LIKE I OWNED HIM! And River, hun, I'm gonna do that to you tonight...THE GODDESS IS GOING TO ROLL!

Venus walks on, leaving Tito standing there.

Sex Symbol, River Wyld
w/Jim Cornette
vs.
Venus Victrix

The Match:
The ring announcer makes his introduction of River Wyld! 'Hot Child in the City' by Hagfish begins to play.

Pillman: Ready for the Sex Symbol, King?

King: River Wyld is a sex symbol? To WHO, subscribers of Fat Chicks Monthly?! Pillman, have you seen the arms on her?? 5 minutes after she waves good-bye, her arms are STILL waving! HAHAHAHA!

Jim Cornette walks out... and he looks confused! He shrugs and walks down to the ring. The announcer looks around... then introduces Venus Victrix.

JR: What's going on?

Venus comes out through the curtains, "Bad Medicine" by Bon Jovi is playing over the public announcement system. She dances her way down the aisle, smiling and teasing the fans. She rolls into the ring as Roman Candle Fireworks begin to blaze behind her. She seductively takes off her jacket and throws it to a ring attendant.

Jim Cornette looks confused still... as there is NO RIVER WYLD!

Pillman: I think she locked herself in her car again!

JR: This isn't funny! VVS is missing.... Sarah D HAS been missing... now River Wyld?

Pillman: It doesn't add up! Who would be smart enough to want VVS, yet dumb enough to take Sarah and River?

The referee and announcer confer with each other... and after a few moments... they raise Venus Victrix's arm in victory.

JR: I wonder if this has something to do with the Femme Fatales and the trouble they have. Atlantra is out.... Gold-Dust is unhappy.

Pillman: It's all an elaborate plot to avoid being embarassed by VVS in a Gauntlet match!

King: Well, she's definitely not here. Believe me, you'd SEE her!

'Bad Medicine' by Bon Jovi begins to play again and Venus walks out with the victory.

JR: Fans at home, I'd like to apologize on behalf of the WWF. This is a terrible situation. Something has to be done. Tighter security... SOMETHING!

Pillman: Tighter security... or tighter GIRDLES! Maybe she's stuck in a doorway somewhere!

JR: Let's go to Dok Hendriks, who's standing in the event center. He's going to prime us for Summerslam!