Queen Of The Ring
SUSANNAH CECILY HELMSLEY PRE-MATCH INTERVIEW
Mean Gene: I'm here with Susannah Helmsley, who is just moments away from her opening round matchup against Starr Blaze. Miss Helmsley, how do you see things shaping up for you here tonight?
Susannah: You know, Gene, I keep hearing that this feud between myself and Starr Blaze has gotten soft as of late. If that's true, do you care to wager a guess as to WHY, Gene?
Mean Gene: Well, no ... but I'm sure you'll tell me, Miss Helmsley.
Susannah: I haven't changed my feelings for Blaze, and I'm sure she feels the same way about me that she always has. But as we tried to settle our differences, these other morons that inhabit the WWF have constantly gotten in our way!
Mean Gene: Morons?! Just who are you referring to?!
Susannah: Well, let's start right at the top of the list. Mr. Perfect and Madusa. For weeks their pointless and assinine challenges to me and another partner filled valuable WWF air time. They never wanted a match, Mean Gene. All it did was keep the WWF from signing a match with myself and Starr, because these 2 idiots were now in our way.
Susannah: After that, while myself and Starr brawled with one another backstage, Venus Victrix comes out and makes a challenge to me. Even though any common fool could see that I wanted Blaze, she decides that SHE needs a match with me. So the WWF makes THAT match, and what happens? Venus runs off! So for weeks, I'm waiting for my chance at Starr, but I first have to wait for Venus to drag herself back to the WWF to honor the challenge she made.
Susannah: And NOW that all the losers who have no real business with either of us are getting out of the way, I can finally face Starr Blaze. Sure, I beat her at In Your House in the mixed tag match, but I didn't get to have all the fun with her that I wanted. She says she wants to see the Pedigree up close, well she'll have more than enough chances here tonight! Blaze, I'm not worried about becoming Queen of the Ring, but if winning it means I have to beat you ... then I just may enjoy it!
Mean Gene: What do you mean, you're not worried about becoming Queen?
Susannah: What, are you hard of hearing? The title of Queen of the Ring means nothing to me. If someone with the class of Wild Chylde can walk around for an entire year calling herself a Queen then ANYBODY can! But enough about that. I'm hearing this story that I'm planning an attack of some sort on Roxanne!
Mean Gene: Yes, I heard that!
Susannah: Even though I SHOULD take Roxanne out ... if you recall, Gene, a month or so back I went to congratulate Roxanne after a match and she hit me right in my face for NO reason! So even though I certainly do owe Roxanne, she can sit at ringside knowing that as far as Susannah Helmsley is concerned, she is safe.
Mean Gene: Well, that does it here! Let's get back out to the arena!
JR: What about THAT, Roxanne?
Roxanne: CUT me a BREAK! After a long match, I stand up to thank my millions of Rock-a-holics... and out of the corner of my eye... what do I see, JR? Helmsley! Charging in at me ready for an attack! So I wheeled around and forearmed her in her nose... which is a can't-miss tactic!
JR: She can twist the truth around. Do you think she'll try anything here tonight, like the rumors say?
Roxanne: JR, I'm going to sit here and do commentary. I'm not taking any extra precautions for her... or for anything else. But I will tell you THIS! If she wants to start something, I'll gladly finish it. J.R....
JR: Yes?
Roxanne: Promise me one thing. If the going gets rough... you'll save my seat so I can finish the show, right?
JR: Absolutely! Let's go up to the ring... we have MORE activities to get to before our next match...