WWF Superstars, Feb. 22, 1997

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(Superstars Theme plays.)

(Mr.Perfect's music plays! He comes down the aisle, dressed in his wrestling tights and a warm-up jacket. He stops for a second and looks around at the fans as they cheer and reach toward him. He manages a smile and nods his head, then keeps walking down to the ringside area. He walks over to the announcer's table.... and PULLS the chair from underneath Brian Pillman! Pillman stumbles backward, bracing himself against the railing. Perfect just keeps walking... with the chair and sets it up on an adjacent side. Perfect sits down... and leans back, folding his hands behind his head.)

Pillman: He thinks he's so cool. With that smug look on his face! You wait! (Pillman pulls another chair over.) You WAIT! Somebody is going to collect on the bounty! And then there will be no more Mr.Perfect!

Publican: Your LEG! Is it alright?

Pillman: Aw, man! It hurts! I might file a lawsuit for THAT! He'll have the perfect LAWSUIT on his hands!

Heart Attack: Would you let him put you on a lie detector test?

Pillman: Absolutely! I never tell a lie! I'm like George Washington! It WAS President's Day last week...and I NEVER tell a lie! And Abe was honest too... HONEST ABE! Heart Attack, your boy got lucky on Raw didn't he? But I have to ask you.... tonight... when Stardom is beating Corey's brains in again... are you going to beg and plead Derrick Stardom to stop again?!

Heart Attack: Of COURSE I would!

Pillman: Hahaha! (mockingly) Please, Derrick... PLEASE don't hurt him! I'll do anything!

Heart Attack: I don't remember saying those words, LYIN' Brian!

Pillman: Well, Publican...what did YOU hear?

Publican: She was absolutely PLEADING!

Pillman: 'PLEASE don't kick his @$$!'

Heart Attack: You're just pissed off because he actually LISTENED!

Pillman: He didn't listen... he felt SORRY for you!

Publican: Personally, I think there's still something going on there. Did you see the way Derrick held back Sabrina from Heart Attack?

Pillman: You think something's going on? Hahaha! You mean she's STILL a TRAMP?!! Hahahaha!

Heart Attack: THERE IS NOTHING...

Pillman: Are you cheating on Corey Major now?

Heart Attack: NO!

Pillman: Publican, you may have HIT on something there!

Heart Attack: Well THAT would be a FIRST!

Pillman: Oh... and Corey's banjo player has got a match, too! Against JOBO! An Armageddon Match!

Heart Attack: GUITAR player!

Pillman: Banjo... flute... WHATEVER!

Heart Attack: Cast... fake cast... WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE!?

Pillman: <bleep>... FAKE <bleep>... WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?! Hahaha! I guess we'll have to censor THAT later! Savage and the Blizzard will lock up tonight. I can't believe how much help Savage got defeating the Giant on Raw! Did you see that masked guy out there? I thought he was with the Giant... but he was trying to PULL Savage out of the ring to help him! When the Giant had him hung over the ropes? He HELPED him! Miscarriage of JUSTICE!

Publican: We should find out who that IS!

Pillman: We SHOULD! Savage is getting all sorts of HELP! I hear Macho Man is upset that he isn't in the FOUR-SIDED match at the Countdown! Savage just may SNAP! (looks to the camera) Hey Macho! You want a shot at the title? (points to Perfect) There's your contract sitting right over there! Hahahaha! It might happen! You know how crazy Macho Man can get!

Heart Attack: Can't be crazier then YOU are!

Pillman: What OTHER matches are going on tonight? Bleach Blonde! Fill us in on something!

Heart Attack: Uhhh... I only looked over the card for a second. I don't remember!

Pillman: Hahaha! Maybe you're not a BLEACH blonde after all!

Publican: Lady Tyr and Raven! Do you think the Undertaker will show up THIS time?

Pillman: The Undertaker? Who knows? But Lady Tyr is a very fine and deserving athlete! She should win tonight! She deserves all the accolades that are coming to her!

Heart Attack: What did she SAY to you that's got you so scared?

Pillman: Lady Tyr? We've never met.

Heart Attack: Uh HUH! Maybe I can get her to say it again on MY behalf!

Pillman: Yeah... because COREY certainly isn't MAN enough to do it! (gets worried) NOT THAT SHE'S A MAN OR ANYTHING!

Heart Attack: Did you just call her a MAN???? You're in TROUBLE!!!!

Pillman: NO! You tricked me!

Publican: Alley Kat and Roxanne!

Pillman: Big deal Roxanne. She's got an identity crisis right now. I'm interested only in seeing Lady Tyr in action! I think she's a fine athlete... very deserving of all the accolades that she gets! She's not a man. Big deal ROXANNE!

Publican: We have a Women's Title Bout tonight, too!

Pillman: We DO?

Publican: OH! Wrong CARD!

Pillman: PUBLICAN! You've been reading Heart Attack's NOTES! Give them back to her!

Heart Attack: They are NOT mine!

Pillman: They are too! Look at that... it says Monday Night THAW! Only YOU could be so dumb to write that! DUH!

Heart Attack: Huh! Let's hope we don't see Eric Bischoff out here tonight!

Pillman: I'll kick his butt, too! (looks to Heart Attack) Although he was right about the one thing there... y'know the...

Heart Attack: HEY!

Pillman: Let's get to some action! Lady Tyr and Raven are up in the ring ready to start.