WWF Superstars, Feb. 15, 1997WWF Superstars, Feb. 15, 1997OPENING SEGMENT
(The World Wrestling Federation. For over THREE years, the symbol of excellence in sports entertainment.)
(The camera fades in to show the screen divided in four. In each quadrant is shown a different member of tonight's four sided match. Bret Hart, Chris Benoit, Booker T and Road Warrior Hawk.)
Dok's Voice: Welll... tonight it's going to be part TWO of the Four Sided Match! One half of EACH of the top four teams in our sport today... in a single elimination match! All this and more... today on WWF SUPERSTARS!
(Superstars Theme plays.)
Publican: Welcome to the Jacksonville Coliseum in Jacksonville, Florida...another stinky place!
Pillman: I never thought I'd say this... but this place is even smellier then the LAST place we were at! What a putrid aroma!
Publican: (points to Jimmy Steele's empty seat) Hey look! It's so bad, it chased Jimmy Steele away!
Pillman: We should wrestle here all the time then!
Heart Attack: I don't know what you two are talking about. From my end of the table I can clearly tell the smell is coming from YOU TWO and not Jacksonville, Florida!
Pillman: Or maybe it's your perfume wafting up. Is it a holdover from Valentine's Day? What did Corey Major buy you? Quaker State 20/50?
Publican: Certainly smells like it!
Heart Attack: Where's your white feathers this week, Pillman?
Publican: Y'know? I have to tell you. I know for a FACT that it wasn't him at the casino on that tape!
Pillman: And we've got the PROOF!
Publican: And you'll see it on Raw!
Heart Attack: Yeah, right!
Pillman: The talk of the wrestling world is... WrestleMania IV on March 30th! And it looks like it could happen: another career ending stretcher match, this time between Randy Savage and Ric Flair! I'll be suprised if Savage shows up for this! You can only lose by going out on a stretcher! If he doesn't show up....!
Publican: He doesn't LOSE!
Heart Attack: He showed up for the LAST one!
Pillman: Yeah, but that was Hulk Hogan! YOU could have beaten Hulk Hogan! But Ric Flair is a classic! Did you see what he did to Diesel this past week on Raw?
Heart Attack: They're BOTH class athletes and I'm pretty sure it'll be an interesting match!
Pillman: This card is almost as bad as Raw's was. Toss out the Four Sided match and you're left with a bunch of useless matches. Who cares about Wild Chylde... or the Blizzard! But Heart Attack... it's you against...'Mother Superior' Roxanne!
Heart Attack: Mother Superior?
Pillman: I call her 'Mother Superior' because she acts like she's never done anything wrong. She treats everyone else like a kid... and she's only 24! I hope the two of you beat each other senseless!
Heart Attack: That's not TRUE! She just looks out for a lot of other people, unlike yourself!
Publican: There is ONE match to watch! The Mr.Perfect match! We'll see if anybody collects!
Pillman: Tonight could be the night!
Heart Attack: Oh yeah... this plan has worked so well! People are just coming down in DROVES to beat up Mr.Perfect! He sits out in the front row... and what happens? Nobody shows up!
Pillman: Well hell... I'll step up and take a shot!
Heart Attack: hahaha! I would LOVE to see that!
Pillman: Brian Pillman... NEW World Champion!
Heart Attack: In your dreams!
Pillman: Well, Heart... you better go in the back for your interview. You're always up first! You're even below the MID-CARDERS! Hahahaha!
Heart Attack: At least I can still wrestle.
Pillman: Oh that hurt!.... my LEG! Hahahaha!
(Heart Attack gets up and heads to the back for her interview....)