RESULTS: Monday Night Raw Mar. 10, 1997

ANNOUNCER'S TABLE

Pillman and the Publican have the yellow paint washed from their hair... but they are scratching like crazy at their heads.

Publican: I'm all itchy!

Pillman: Yeah! What gives!

Anvil: (shrugs) Some kind of allergic reaction. Hey.. the yellow's gone!

The phone rings. Pillman grabs it... then scratches his head.

Brian: (holding up the phone.) Anvil... hold this up to my ear you buffoon. We're going to put this call through on the speakers, too so everyone can hear. Now please... keep the noise down... because on the phone right now... IT'S MY GOOD FRIEND, STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN!

(The Anvil jabs the phone into the side of Pillman's head and holds it there.)

Pillman: Steve... are you there, buddy?

Stone Cold: I'm here, Brian.

Pillman: Can you believe what's been going on tonight?

Stone Cold: What I DON'T believe is just how big of cowards that Bret Hart... and the Anvil really are. They got to send down the Nacho Man...the Road Warriors, and the Warrior and Brutus the Bartender Beefcake to try to stir up trouble... because they ain't man enough to do it they-selves...

Pillman: That's right! They wait until they know you're not around... then they strike.

Stone Cold: Somebody's always watchin'. And they're always ready to kick their tails... and THAT'S the bottom line. The Giant is settin' there at the table, and nobody will mess with Brian F'N Pillman while the big man is settin' there.

Pillman: But they're missing just enough chromosones to come over anyway!

Stone Cold: They got their keg of whup-ass... but they'll be missin' more then chromosones when the Empire gets through holdin' their hides down beneath a truckload of whup-ass. Now if they all wanna get their name in the spotlights, they can stand in line, because Time Bomb and Stone Cold are gonna dish out some embarassment on the Hart Foundation at WrestleMania IV. Then the rest of the Mega Boy Scouts can suck in their gut, stick out their chests and get their noses busted off by Stone Cold Steve Austin and Brian F'N Pillman. Greaseball and Gopher for a Day... when WrestleMania is all over... you'll be pushin' up daisies... and the eulogy will have it that Austin 3:16 just kicked your asses... and THAT'S the botton line.

Pillman: But Steve... don't you think we should be a little worried... I mean.. they're going to have on THEIR side of the ring... ROXANNE!

Stone Cold: First of all, we got Sabrina Savage... one of the keenest wrestling minds in the sport. She took Stardom to the top, and plunged his sorry ass to the bottom like he was used toilet paper. Roxanne thinks she's big and bad... gettin' in peoples faces, thinkin' that because she's a woman, that nobody's gonna drop her on her flabby behind. Roxanne... Stone Cold is going to be on Superstars this week... and if you got the nerve, you step on up and get in my face... and we'll see just how long you last before Stone Cold puts his foot up your...

Pillman: EASY, Stone Cold!

Stone Cold: The Bottom Line is... the Mega Power seem real strong when they comin' up behind people... and tryin' to double team them. But we saw tonight... that head on... they swallow their pearly whites from fists in their faces, crutches to the ribs and tables on their heads. We don't fight fair... and we don't pretend to. We just kick ass and toss you back in the gutter... and we do it because we can... and because Stone Cold said so.

Pillman: Thanks Steve. Anvil, hang it up. And then go buy us some Mega Power merchandise at the stands. It's going to be worth money, soon. This stuff always goes up in price when people DIE! Hahahaha!

The Anvil storms off, grumbling about buying some Pillman shirts, too. Pillman and the Publican continue itching their heads.

ULTIMATE WARRIOR PRE-MATCH INTERVIEW

Jim Ross: Now With us....THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR!!(Crowd Chants: Warrior, Warrior.....)

Jim Ross: Ultimate Warrior, what are you gonna do against Sid?

Warrior: Well...The Ultimate Warrior says....PHOENIX, if you interfere in MY match......WELL,......IM JUST GONNA HAVE TO KICK YOUR @$$!! And that goes for anyone else that might feel a little brave!

Jim Ross: Warrior, the giant cost you the match last week.....

Warrior: And did you see the Giant get Gorrilla Press Slammed, in his match against the Anvil? The point is...YOU MESS WITH ONE OF THE MEGA-POWERS...YOU MESS WITH ALL OF US!!!!