WWF Superstars, Mar. 15, 1997WWF Superstars, Mar. 15, 1997THE HOWARD STERN SHOW
Stern: Alright... let's talk about WrestleMania. I'm going to Chicago on the 30th and I'll be commentating on the action during wrestling matches.
Robin: What do YOU know about wrestling?
Stern: Who CARES!? Have you seen the girls there? They put the Score's girls to SHAME! Ba-Ba-Booey... get one of them on the line. We gotta get one of them in the studio. Do something for the E! cameras.
(sound effect: OH MY!)
Robin: But don't these women have boyfriends that are big, muscular wrestlers?
Stern: Ah... they're all wimps! We'll have Jackie and Fred put on masks and tell them that they're tag team champions or some other cocka-mamy story! What is it Jackie?
Jackie: Hee Hee Hee! Could you imagine GARY in a wrestling mask? All you'd see is his teeth through the openings!
Stern: (imitating Gary) Bowth, I'm reday to wrethle!
(laughing... then sound effect: Fa... Fa... FOOey!)
Stern: What is it Gary? Did you do what I asked you? NO... look at you. What's wrong? What's your problem? (pause) How difficult is it? (pause) Womankind? Is SHE cute?
Fred: She rips her hair out during a match.
(sound effect: Cuckoo... Cuckoo)
Stern: What's wrong with that? I like a wild woman.
Fred: She squeals!
Stern: OOOhhh! I like THAT! Get her in here. We'll make her squeal!
Robin: She might come in here and beat all of you guys up! I'm safe in here!
Stern: Hey... Jackie's in to chick's beatin' him up!
(sound effect: jackie's voice... OH YEAH!)
Robin: Well I should get to pick a GUY wrestler to have in here.
Stern: Forget it! You're outnumbered! Who cares about guy wrestlers? Please. Who wants to see men in their underwear rolling around together? That's why there's women's matches. It's like going to a stripclub... but your wife doesn't get mad and you don't have to tip!
Robin: Well what makes WrestleMania different? Why something special like this?
Stern: I dunno. More women's matches I think.
Fred: It's their big yearly pay-per-view. It has all the big matches.
Robin: Oh..I SEE. So you get little matches all year... THEN they make you pay EXTRA for the big matches!
Stern: Good deal for them! We should have run a wrestling event instead of made a movie!
Jackie: Crackhead Bob could do the ring announcing. Hee hee! Could you see the people at ringside trying to figure out who he introduced!?
Fred: They'd have no idea who was wrestling!
Stern: Forget that! We'd have all chicks! We gotta get some of the WWF's women in here. Hey! Look at this WWF Magazine... Heart Attack, and Sunny... Roxanne, Wild Chylde DiBiase! I'm going to have FUN at this WrestleMania thing! Let's take a break. We'll be back after these words.
COMMERCIAL
WRESTLEMANIA IV
the King of All Media
meets
the Sport of Kings
LIVE ON PAY-PER-VIEW
March 30, 1997
1-2-3 KID PRE-MATCH INTERVIEW
Jim Ross:Ladies and getlemen please welcome my guest at this time along with j.j dillion, the 1-2-3 kid....
(the 1-2-3 kid steps threw the curtain with an nWo t-shirt on and he doesnt look very happy....)
Jim Ross: welcome kid, listen we have a lot of things to discuss...
Kid: wait! the first thing i would like to discuss is the nWo... jarrett and vader what u did to dillion was cowardly... i will face either one of u anytime anyplace....
Jim Ross: I know! wee all seen what happened to jj dillion... but kid u must be focused on your I.C match tonight against Flash Funk...
Kid: yes i am focused on this match!! flash funk im going to beet the living crap out of u!!
Jim Ross: Kid, were is the Dean??
(the crowd cheers as jim ross askes that question)
Kid: well he is not here today! but he will be with me at my I.C matc!!
Jim Ross: okay thanks for beeing my guest and good luck on todays match!!
Kid: thanks jim!!
(the nWo theme music plays as the kid leaves the ring and gets prepared for his I.C match against flash funk)