WWF Superstars, Mar. 22, 1997WWF Superstars, Mar. 22, 1997Jim Ross is in the backstage area, near the dressing rooms. The doors are closed. The wrestlers names are visible on the various doors.
Jim Ross: Hello fans! You can cut the energy with a KNIFE! On today's edition of WWF Superstars, we will have the QUARTERFINAL round of the Intercontinental Tournament! The wrestlers are ready... the announcers are ready.... the FANS are ready! So let's get started... for WWF SUPERSTARS!
(Superstars Theme plays.)
Pillman: Here we are... in Anaheim... the DUCK pond or something like that. ARROWHEAD pond! This is where WrestleMania III was last year... where Bret Hart cheated to keep the World Title and win the I/C belt from Big Daddy Fool, Diesel. This year, they're both in WrestleMania again... and in eight days... they'll BOTH be losers!
Heart Attack: It's funny that the only thing you remember is that Bret Hart cheated.... which I seriously doubt anyway!
Pillman: I also remember you being bought and paid for by Ted DiBiase to kiss his feet and bark like a dog! But I chose not to bring that up to embarass you!
Publican: She got the Slammy for that!
Pillman: Haha! Now, tonight, we've got the quarter-final matches... FOUR of them! Gotta laugh...NO Derrick Stardom! We said it would happen!
Publican: And we knew it would!
Heart Attack: He would have won if it wasn't for you guys!
Pillman: You've got yourself to blame! You shook him all up before the match! I wonder if Corey's shook up for tonight... BROKEN up!
Heart Attack: I don't think so. Corey is not exactly the long-relationship, one-woman type anyway.
Pillman: Well, we'll never know! Ha! Tonight, the final match will be the Undertaker and Razor Ramon. That'll be a BIG match! (pauses... no one speaks.)
(Pillman looks around.)
Pillman: WHAT'S GOING ON? Why is everyone just looking at me?
Heart Attack: I just can't get over the color of your hair this week. It's distracting me!
Pillman: It's only SLIGHTLY redder then it USED to BE! Thanks to the ROAD WARRIORS!
Heart Attack: I guess Austin is lucky he doesn't HAVE any hair!
Pillman: You wait! The Road Warriors are next. In fact, the Road Warriors are here tonight against Owen Hart and the British Bulldog!
Heart Attack: Here's something no one expected: Owen Hart and the British Bulldog have joined the REBIRTH!
Pillman: They don't FIT!
Publican: Speaking of the Rebirth... Brian, the Giant wanted me to tell you that Atlantra is DEFINITELY REBIRTH!
Pillman: I think he's right! Everybody seems to be in the Rebirth all of a sudden!
Heart Attack: Where does he get HIS information?
Pillman: The Giant? He KNOWS! He's BRILLIANT! And I... wait a minute... standing by is Dok Hendriks. He's got something to mumble to us. Let's go to it!
DOK HENDRIKS REPORTING...
(Dok Hendriks is backstage with a worried look on his face.)
Dok: Fans, this is drastic news. Earlier on today, our security cameras outside of the Arrowhead Arena picked up this attack... Let's go to it now.
THP walks into the parking lot when a golden ninja throws a smoke bomb at him. As he is covered with smoke, the ninja blows a dart of poison that hits his neck. THP falls to the ground coughing and weak as the ninja vanishes in the shadows.
Dok: Right now, medics are treating THP. He's been unconcious since the paramedics arrived on the scene. I do believe that....
(A man dressed in white comes up to Dok. Dok covers the mic and leans over to listen to what he says. Dok is shaking his head, then the man turns and leaves.)
Dok: Wellll... it seems that the Human Phenomenon will be alright! He's a little drowsy and lathargic, but should be okay to wrestle here today! Back out to you guys!