WWF Superstars, Mar. 22, 1997WWF Superstars, Mar. 22, 1997Macho walks down to the Rebuttal Area and SITS IN THE INTERVIEWERS SEAT?!? Jim Ross then follows him out.
Macho: "BROTHA BROTHA BROTHA!! SIT DOWN JIM. I have some questions FOR YOU this time. First of all, Jim, how are ya brotha?"
JR: I'm just fine Macho Man. Thank you.
Macho: "Good. Now, I'm going to clarify my inviting you into the Mega Powers. See Jim, while Bobby is a GREAT manager, probably the best, he's being run ragged. He's a, weeeeell, genious when it comes to wrestling but, like I said, he's burning himself AT BOTH ENDS. In comes you. You yourself know quite a bit about wrestling and so, it was a managerial/spokesperson role I was looking for in ya. You...YOU DA MAN JIM! Jim, you are the only one that can stand up to those two goons at the announcer's table."
JR: Well, I thank you for the offer, Mr.Savage. But I'm not one for choosing sides. All my life I've been either a referee, official or an announcer. That's what I do, and I enjoy it. Now I'm not a fan of either Mr.Rotundo OR Mr.Pillman down at the table. But they have jobs with the WWF in a broadcast capacity. They have a right to their opinions also, no matter how twisted they may seem. The last thing I want to do is to be put opposite them. If that were to happen, then it would come down to a 'my team is better then your team' debate. There NEEDS to be a voice of reason. So I give my opinions, and like you said, I think I know quite a bit about wrestling. The fans have a right to hear those unbiased predictions.
Macho: "I WOULD like to apologize for my words about your predictions. I know you have to be fair minded and call it like you see it but that WASN'T MY PROBLEM BROTHA! DIG IT! My PROBLEM was your response to my ACTIONS when I lost my wife. It hurt...I'M OVER IT! But, it still hurt Jim. That phone call after it happened really shined the light on what I thought was our friendship. I'm not REEEALLY looking for an apology but just a reason for your 5th GRADER'S response. You could have just said I've been acting FLUSTERED or somethin!"
JR: I said you were a... well... 'sandwich or two shy of a picnic.' That was the way I phrased it, and I'll stand by my judgements. Now, I could have said you were...'flustered' or 'agitated', but I'm trying to make interesting journalism. I don't think I need to make excuses for the way I write. If I've offended you in any way, I apologize for that. But the predictions and the statements stand.
Macho: "Jim. I know you've got work to do for the WWF so I'll RUSH IT HERE! This is a LEGITIMATE invitation INTO the Mega Powers as a manger/spokesperson. WHAT DO YA SAY BROTHA?!?"
JR: Macho Man, the Mega Powers DO need a spokesman. But I don't think I'm the man for the job. But you've got one right under your nose. I'm going to be forward with you again, Macho Man. We all know that Brutus the Barber Beefcake's glory days are behind him. He once hosted the Barber Shop and has done commentary before. He could still back up what he says and wouldn't be a hand-cap like I would be. Mr. Savage, I suggest you look down that avenue. The best things are always closest to you.
(Jim Ross stands up and shakes Savage's hand.)
JR: Thank you, Mr.Savage for giving me this time to say what's on my mind.
(Jim Ross turns and leaves, heading back to the Event Center's desk.)
JR: Alright... let's get back to the WrestleMania report now. One more time... it'll be the Career Ending Stretcher Match between Ric Flair and Randy Savage. We heard from Flair tonight, for the first time since the King's Court. I wonder what he has up his sleeve, next!
(An image of the ring appears.. and 30' above it... a metal scaffold!)
JR: The Road Warriors... and the Harlem Heat! For the Unified World Tag Team Titles! This feud has been heating up beyond belief! The Road Warriors most recently embarassed Brian Pillman for what he did to their friend and ally, Roxanne. Then the Heat struck again! It seems that every time the Legion of Doom is around, or turns their backs... the Harlem Heat is there, ready to take them down. But as we saw tonight, the LOD is not a team that you just want to assault. The Road Warriors, since the summer of 1995 when the WWF re-organized, have only been CLEANLY defeated TWICE, and that was to the Hart Foundation last year. The Road Warriors are one of the most physical teams to ever come into the sport. But in recent months, this upstart team of the Harlem Heat has progressively gotten better and better... and more dominant and dangerous. They are crafty, with the ability to use anything nearby as a weapon. They have the drive, and the anger to remain the champions for a long time.
JR: Folks, when these teams get 30' in the air... and possibly higher up on all the scaffolding, they'll be all alone! With nowhere to run... nowhere to hide... but one place to go... DOWN! People get HURT in these types of matches. I'm willing to bet Sting still remembers last summer when Hawk PILEDROVE him on the scaffold and nearly broke his neck! Folks, I'm willing to bet that Eddie GILBERT remembers being thrown off the scaffold by the Road Warriors back at WrestleMania ONE in 1993!! Matches like this could scar you for life on the inside AND OUT!
JR: I'll have a more all-encompassing report for you on Monday Night Raw... and look for the special WrestleMania Pre-Game Show coming out next week on the USA network! We'll cover the entire card from the top to the bottom and back to the top. So long folks!
JOBO PRE-MATCH COMMENTS
ZoBo-Stardom, HA HA, we told you!!! JoBo beat you fair a square, and now he's on to bigger and better things. He proved who the man was, once and for all!! Now you, Flash Funk, get ready for JoBo to take you to school.
JoBo-JoBo destroy Funk!!