RESULTS: Monday Night Raw Apr. 7, 1997

SID GRABS THE BOTTOM ROPE AND PUTS ON THE BRAKES!! The Giant tries to yank him off... and Sid escapes, booting the Giant away! Sid gets up and runs at the big man... AXEHANDLE! The Giant drops to one knee....

Sid slips an arm under the Giant's shoulder and half-nelsons him to the mat!

JR: I'd NEVER thought I'd see a Greco-Roman move from SID!

Sid yanks on the Giant's hamstring muscles... over and OVER again!

JR: That's the leg Diesel used to win at WrestleMania IV! I wonder if the Giant has fully healed!!?

Sid bounces off the ropes... flips over... BACK-FIRST ON THE GIANT! The fans POP as Sid hits! Psycho Sid stands and begins STOMPING on the Giant's leg... then hitting hamstring pull after hamstring pull. The Giant reaches at his leg and holds it in agony.

Sid: I smell... A POWERBOMB!!

JR: NO WAY! HE CAN'T GET HIM! THAT'S TOO MUCH HUMANITY!!!

Sid yanks up the Giant, who refuses to put weight on his leg. Sid yanks his head between his knees... looks around at the fans... then leans over and hooks the Giant around the waist......

POWER BOMB!!!! HE HIT IT!!! THE FANS ARE BALLISTIC!!!

JR: MY GOD!!!! WHAT A MOVE!!! HE DID IT!!!! SID... PSYCHO SID JUST POWER BOMBED THE BIG MAN!! HE DID IT!!!

Sid drops down for the cover. He hooks the leg as the referee counts. The fans count along... 1... 2... 3....

NO KICKOUT!!! THE GIANT KICKS OUT!!!! The referee signals just a TWO count! Sid slams multiple punches in the Giant's face, rolling him over. Sid drops HIS weight down on the Giant's back.

JR: The Giant has forgotten all about his leg now! That power bomb must have done a NUMBER on his back!!!

Sid lands on the Giant and yanks back on his head and neck... a CAMEL CLUTCH!!! The referee gets down in position! Sid yanks back, yelling for the ref to ask him!!! The Giant shakes his head.... NO! The referee checks the Giant's arm... it's almost motionless!!!

Sid yanks back harder!! The arm goes limp!!! The referee calls for the bell! IT'S OVER! SID WINS!!! THE GIANT IS OUT!!

Winner, by submission: Psycho Sid

Sid gets up to the fans cheering! He, Sarah and Flash head out! Terry Taylor then comes down the aisle and gets into the ring. He helps the Giant up, then calls for the microphone.

Taylor: I know the Blizzard wants to chat with you, Rowdy! But I've got a challenge to make! C'mon OUT!

After a few moments, Rowdy Roddy Piper comes through the curtains. The fans cheer for him! He's chewing on some gum and has a twisted smile on his face, as if he's up to something. He comes down and gets in the ring with Taylor and the wounded Giant.

Taylor: You don't like the Empire. And we all saw how biased you are... suspending the Heat and not touching that wimp the Blizzard. You're so biased it's not funny. So you want us to go back to WCW. Well I've got a deal for you. A three man match since Bam Bam is such a wuss, he won't face the Giant alone. My team will wrestle you and him and any other man you can find that hates the Empire. In a three man tag match. If you win, my team will go back to WCW. If not, Todd gets the vice presidency. Put your money where your mouth is... you act so tough... well back it....

(Piper snatches the microphone away from Taylor with a methodical smile. He begins to pace around him, scratching his head. He gives him the once over, chuckling a bit. He takes the T.V. title belt off of Taylor's shoulder and holds it up like a mirror. He checks his molars for cavities... then SNEEZES on the belt. He puts it back on Taylor's shoulder.)

Piper: FIRST OF ALL.... ROOSTER.... I didn't suspend the Blizzard... because HE didn't strike a WWF Referee! He's got OTHER punishment's a-comin'! SECOND OF ALL... putting my MONEY WHERE MY MOUTH IS!!!??? Back when the Empire WAS a good stable, I DID! Who remembers Survivor Series 1996?

(Piper looks around, and the fans go CRAZY!)

Piper: I put together a team that kicked the Empire's Imperial ASS!!!

(RODDY! RODDY! RODDY! RODDY!! The fans are deafening!!!)

Piper: Now from what I've been seein' around these past few days, the Empire ain't much of a threat to anything! I got pre-schoolers callin' me up in Titan Tower askin' if they can come in and beat the hell out of your ankles!!!

(The fans blast out louder! Taylor just stands there, staring back.)

Piper: I never said I wanted the Empire out of the WWF. You guys are too good for ratings! I don't know ANYBODY that's gotten tired of seeing EVERYBODY beat the SNOT out of your stable!!!

(RODDY! RODDY! RODDY! Piper looks around at them and cracks up. The fans pop!)

Piper: Let's see... oh yes! WrestleMania IV! The BIG night for the Empire, eh? Harlem Heat loses their tag belts. Austin and Pillman SUBMIT. The Giant SUBMITS. Madusa QUITS. The Emperor gets a BLOODY NOSE! Hell, Taylor... I should have signed a match FOR YOU! That'd been good for kicks! Oh yeah... with that kind of success, the Empire is SURE to be able to take over the WWF. GET SOME NEW IDEAS, YOU IDIOTS! NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS RING!!!!!!

(Piper moves up toward Taylor, and the Empire leaves the ring and heads out.)

Piper: And now... BOOKER T!!!! You're as brilliant as the Blizzard, pal. Let's see... I'm Booker T. It might be hard for you to imagine folks, because I gots such good grammar and all... but just try to use your imagination a bit. I'M BOOKER T!!

(Piper gives a walk around the ring like George Jefferson. The fans go crazy!)

Piper: I'm MOVIN' ON UP!!!! (Piper cracks up. Then does his best Booker T impersonation.) Now... here I come... Booker T, folks. My partner was just suspended by Piper and I want to wrestle SINGLES so I can win a title. So what do I do? Hey PIPER... YOU GOT DROPPED ON YOUR HEAD! YOU SO UGLY MAN! When YOU was BORN, man... they put you in the TRASH!

(Piper over-reacts, jumping around the ring, slapping his knee and laughing wildly. He then stands up straight and looks desperately at the camera.)

Piper: So Piper... even though I just coughed up some third-grader jokes on you and your momma... I want a match. Please give me the match that I am asking for. I'm such a good boy. I apologized to John Pinnette. I ain't gonna apologize to YOUR SORRY BEHIND... but PLEASE GIVE ME WHAT I WANT!

(Piper shakes his head.)

Piper: Well Booker. I suppose giving you a match with Razor Ramon would be good for you. I mean... I COULD give you a match with that scrub Blaine Parker and watch him kick your ass again, like he did on RAW!!!

(The fans go crazy!!! Footage is shown on the big screen of Parker nailing BOTH members of Harlem Heat, then leaving them there in the ring. Piper points at it, shaking his head.)

Piper: Well, BOOKER T. I'm just gonna have to THINK ABOUT IT! It may take a while since I was dropped on my head so hard as a kid. In FACT, I may even FORGET you asked me ANYTHING in the FIRST place! SO DON'T HOLD YOUR BREATH. (pauses) SCRATCH THAT! PLEASE.... HOLD YOUR BREATH!!!!

(Piper twirls the microphone around and skips around the ring, provoking a loud cheer from the fans.)

Piper: NOW... BLIZZARD!!! Boy... on Thursday Night Titans... Vader granted you an I/C title shot. And I was going to let it happen. But you big, overgrown POPSICKLE, you got just as much common sense as Booker T does. Let's insult the President and the WWF, then sit back and wait for a title shot that I don't DESERVE!! YOU GOT FROST ON THE BRAIN, SNOWFLAKE? Lemme tell you what I'm gonna do!!!

(The fans quiet down slightly to hear.)

Piper: On TNT... there ain't gonna BE a title shot for the Blizzard! Oh no! After what went down here tonight... VADER IS GONNA BE DEFENDING HIS I/C TITLE AGAINST DOUBLE J, JEFF JARRETT!!

(The fans POP loud!!!)

Piper: And Cornette... before you come runnin' down the aisle, complainin' that Vader hasn't had time to prepare for this... AND before I shove that tennis racket where it wasn't intended to FIT... I gots THIS to say! Don't give ME prepared! I'm sure Jarrett wasn't prepared to get jumped tonight NEITHER!! The match WILL go down on TNT.... BECAUSE ROWDY RODDY PIPER SAID SO!!!

(Piper's bagpipe music starts to play! The fans in the Fleet Center are all on their feet, chanting his name and going NUTS!!! Roddy leaves the ring after tossing the mic down on the canvas, making a loud POP sound through the speakers!)