WWF Superstars, Apr. 26, 1997

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BRIAN PILLMAN PRE-MATCH COMMENTS

We find Brian Pillman backstage in front of the TV monitors. He is wearing a t-shirt that says: THE CULT! and has a picture of Stardom on it. He's holding his crutch also.

Pillman: Aerial assault match! This joker named Derrick Stardom thinks that HE'S a better FLIER then ME? And now only is he out for that... but he wants... a little PAYBACK for what happened to Heart Attack! hahaha!

Footage on the monitors shows Heart Attack and Derrick, backstage before a match. Austin and Pillman arrive on the scene and bash Stardom down... then lay into Heart Attack, with Pillman jabbing her in the ribs with the crutch, then choking her out as per Sabrina Savage's orders.

Pillman: (chuckling) I LOVE re-runs! hahaha! Just like I can watch my TNT match OVER and OVER again. Anvil... you got the ALCOHOL knocked out of you! Hahaha! Don't even bother showing up tonight, if you know what's good for you. Hahaha!

Pillman: Stardom... I won't inflict TOO much pain on your scrawny body. I made a promise to Stone Cold that I would leave a little of your hide for him in one week at Qualify 97. I'll leave just enough of your head and neck so that you can experience again... the STONE COLD STUNNER!!!

Pillman: TONIGHT... I'm going to give a repeat performance! Only this time... it'll be YOUR ribs crackin' and bruisin'. The count is rising... and YOUR NEXT! Get your ass ready for PILLMAN 3: F'N 16!!! Hahahahah!

The announcer, Howard Finkel, is heard over the P/A. The fans die down to hear his words.

Finkel: Ladies and gentlemen... it is now time to introduce to you... a RETURN to the World Wrestling Federation!

The lights in the arena go completely out.

Finkel: So without further ado... let me introduce to you.... a man that tonight will bring back his special interview segment for us ALL to enjoy. Ladies and gentlemen... please welcome..... Badd Boy Derrick Stardom and his segment... CONSTELLATION STATION!

A loud mixed reaction goes across the arena. The lights EXPLODE on up at the interview area. Nine large TV monitors are stacked up as the backdrop, displaying spinning graphics of stars and other heavenly bodies. Some laser lights zip up from behind them. The Badd Boy Derrick Stardom is standing in the center of the stage, on top of a star on the floor. He's dressed in his tuxedo-like outfit and is holding a microphone.

Stardom: Because YOU demanded it... the Badd Boy Derrick Stardom is BACK on the BROADCAST track! Pillman! Tonight, not only will I prove that I can FLY better then you... I will also prove I can TALK better then you, too!

The screens behind Stardom start montaging through old footage of the interview segment.

Stardom: For all you NEWBIES out there, the Station was one of the FIRST REAL interview segments around. And after kicking back for a while and watching it ALL go to HELL, I decided to get WIRED and get others FIRED!

Stardom: But the Station isn't the ONLY thing returning to the WWF. There is a HOT-little NUMBER that's making HER way back to the WWF. And I am NOT talking about Gold-dust. BBDS is referring to none other... then HEART ATTACK!!!

Heart Attack comes out wearing a black mini-dress with a black leather jacket over top. She walks out to Derrick and plants a big kiss on his cheek. She blows double kisses to the fans.

Stardom: H.A.... welcome BACK. And you couldn't have picked a better day to return... because I've reserved you a front row seat to watch Brian F'N Pillman receive an AERIAL ASSAULT CARCASS KICKIN', comin' at him via BBDS... and that just MIGHT stand for Badd Boy Delivery Services! What about the GREMLIN?

Heart Attack: Ya know Derrick, I can't believe that little STAIN! Oh and thanks for your tenacity in going after him, Derrick. I thought Pillman and I were colleagues... I guess I thought I was above his little tricks! I thought wrong! But I won't run scared. I'll still commentate on TNT!

Stardom: (points to the fans.)All the members of the Cardiac CREW want to know... just how IS the ribs... and just who IS Gramma Weebo?

Heart Attack: Well, I'm okay... I'm not a very good patient. Kind of like the Anvil. The hospital staff gave me a STAY WELL card. Anyway, I'm still a little stiff. And Gramma Weebo's my grandma from Kansas. She had this silver handled hairbrush she used ta smack us with when we were bad. Well she walked in my room, slapping that brush in her hand and all the fight went out of me!

Stardom: Now THAT sounds like somebody that even BBDS would fret! Heart Attack... the Constellation Station is where it ALL began for you. Until you came on here the first time, you WERE just sweet innocent Kandy Kane. But innocence is quickly lost around these parts. What do you think of Sabrina... trying to steal Corey Major's innocence?

Heart Attack: I can only say... COREY! WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU!? You know she's a snake! Just think about all the things she's done! Not even GOD could turn that witch around!

Stardom: Funny how things CHANGE! (thinks) Nah... no it isn't. Enough about the past... namely COREY and Sabrina! Let's talk about this coming week. Your return match is against some flirty chick named Jade. If you ask me, she's trying to steal your thunder... and the emphasis is on TRYING! She doesn't impress me. But come to think of it... not much DOES. What are YOUR thoughts on her?

Heart Attack: Well, I don't own the rights to flirting, in fact, I don't flirt as much as I used to. (smiles at Derrick) At least with other people. Jade's time will come. For the record, I have like the second slot for females with the most consecutive losses! She's got good teachers and she'll shine one day soon! But not against ME!

Stardom: Jade... will FADE, I'm AFRAID! Now it's POP QUIZ time! Heart Attack.... WHO is the man that WHACKED the Empire!?

Heart Attack: Derrick Stardom!!

Stardom: And WHO is the man that erased the Emperor?

Heart Attack: The Badd Boy!!

Stardom: And just who IS the greatest Intercontinental Champion of all time?!

Heart Attack: BBDS!!!!

Stardom: And just who IS the greatest HIGH-FLIER in the fed right NOW!?

Heart Attack: You are, Derrick!

Stardom: And just WHAT will happen to that crippled creep Brian Pillman tonight?

Heart Attack: The heavens are gonna fall on the GREMLIN!

Stardom: I like it! I LIKE IT! Heart Attack.... we're on our way down to the Aerial Assault match! Won'tcha JOIN ME? You may even get to KNOCK Sabrina around a BIT!

Heart Attack: More than a bit I hope!

Stardom: This has BEEN Constellation Station. And the pleasure has been all YOURS!

Stardom clicks his fingers and the lights go back out. The monitors click off... and the only light in the arena is turned on from beneath Stardom and Heart Attack. The light comes up in the shape of the star on the floor, illuminating them from underneath and casting their monumental shadows across the arena.

Stardom: CLICK.... BANG!

The light shuts off abruptly.