RESULTS: Monday Night Raw Apr. 28, 1997

BADD BOY DERRICK STARDOM

The Badd Boy is kicked back on the hills of Hollywood, California. He's wearing just jeans, boots and his shades. His ribs are taped up and he has some bandages around his left arm.

Stardom: TYPICAL day in the WWF this past Superstars. OUTnumbered... and OUTgunned! Todd Pettingill shows up and adds to the commotion? Steve Austin has to throw in a Stone Cold Stunner, and go after Heart Attack? Sabrina.... I don't know WHAT your plans are! Recruiting Corey Major? You've taken quite a fall since parting ways with this package.

Stardom stands up, adjusting his shades. The sun glints off of them, blinding the camera for a moment.

Stardom: Qualify 97, Stone Cold...it's you... and BBDS. But of course, that's not ALL! I'm sure Brian Pillman will get involved... and maybe Todd, Sabrina and whoever ELSE is in the Empire that quite obviously HASN'T crumbled as absolutely as they would like us to believe! That's fine. In fact, BBDS wouldn't want it any other WAY! Sabrina, bring the crew down... recruit Major and throw HIM into the mix, find Todd and tell him to bring a TRUCKLOAD of Louisville Sluggers and throw in a kitchen sink or TWO. Because I'll be back in action next Sunday... and ready to drop the celestial heavens on MORE then just a few heads. I'm lookin' to decapitate the entire federation if I have to, just to get my REVENGE!

Stardom: So WWF... keep your CROWN! Everyone already knows that I am the straw that stirs the drink... and the measuring stick of the wrestling world! They KNOW that I am the most happening high-flier in the galaxy, and the hottest piece of real estate to boot. Stone Cold Steve Austin... get ready for the WHITE GLOVE treatment... not necessarily a clean PINFALL... but the most lop-side carcass-kickin' that's ever been witnessed on LIVE TV!

Stardom: LIGHTS OUT!

The daylight seems to click off as though it were just a bulb in a room, plunging Hollywood into total darkness. Only the word: 'HOLLYWOOD' on the hill glows as though it were still in the light, and against it, BBDS' sillouette is shown.

Stardom: The pleasure... was all YOURS!

STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN

Austin is seen from the chest up in a dark room. His gold chain glitters in the dim light.

Austin: Bret Hart... it's just days away now, son. Qualify 97. You want to get to me, but you KNOW that you can't even get past Sting. It don't matter, see... because I'll whoop your behind any time.. anywhere. It don't have to be in a match... it don't have to be at ringside. Son... I'll pound your face down standin' in line at McDonalds, it don't matter to Stone Cold!

Austin: The bottom line IS... that you're nothin' but a piece of trash, that's got more enemies then friends. Half of your damn mega pansies ain't nothin' more then snakes in the grass, waitin' to kick your ASS when your back is turned. Ultimate Warrior's had some choice comments about you in the back.... I done heard it with my own ears, son. So before you go gettin in MY face, you better count your allies around you... you better call them up... because Hitman... you're gonna need every last one of them, wielding crowbars to pry me off of your stinkin' hide... because I'm gonna be KICKIN' YOUR ASS!!!

Austin looks away from the camera, getting quite animated... but calming down.

Austin: Now up first on the agenda, they went and done gave Stone Cold an easy ride to the King of the Ring. The suits know damn well that I'm the biggest damn draw this wussy federation has ever known... and they gave me the biggest wussy of them all... that tuxedo wearin' jack-ass, Derrick Stardom, who ain't nothin' more then a stripper that went and done stood in the wrong line, and they threw his ass into the ring, gave him a paycheck and he ain't never gotten out of this business YET!

Austin: Stardom, sometime between now.. and next Sunday, you had better go up to President Piper and beg to him to give you the wrong directions to Rochester, son... because you can't lace my boots on you BEST DAY... and if you DO show up at Qualify 97, I'm gonna whoop your ass so bad, ain't none of the girls gonna wanna see it swinging around no more! And that's the bottom line... BECAUSE STONE COLD SAID SO!!!