RESULTS: Monday Night Raw May 12, 1997

Jeff: I remember my first match back in the WWF against Ahmed Johnson, and SOMEBODY took it upon themselves, for NO reason, to slide into the ring and whack me upside the head with a chair. Elizabeth, do you remember who it was that did that?

Elizabeth: I think it was Razor.

Jeff: I think you're RIGHT! And I also remember that now infamous match of mine with Kyoto Ninja. Elizabeth, look at the video wall. Who's the guy on the outside of the ring clotheslining me down to the floor?

Elizabeth: That looks a lot like Razor to me.

Jeff: 2 for 2! And Elizabeth, when I was fighting one of the biggest matches of my career against Vader in a non-title match, back when he was WWF Champion, who's the guy that slid in and whacked me AGAIN with a chair, costing me the match?

Elizabeth: I think I'm gonna go with Razor on this one, too.

Jeff: You ARE brilliant! And beautiful, but that's a story for another time. Elizabeth, after all that's gone down between me and Razor . . . and don't get me wrong, I did some pretty bad things to him! Has he ever done anything NICE for me?

Elizabeth: Not that I recall, Jeff.

Jeff: Exactly! But now, Razor wants ME to be nice to HIM and sign a title shot for him, and probably for all his Taylor Tech buddies, since there's no way they'll keep their noses out of the match. Let me make sure I've got this straight. A guy that I hate . . . a guy that's cost me matches . . . and a guy that's not even RANKED wants me to grant him a title shot? Elizabeth, is that right?

Elizabeth: You've got it.

Jeff: Ha Ha Ha! Razor, get your lawyer to draw up a contract . . . add all the stipulations you want to it . . . get it ready for me to sign . . . and HOLD YOUR BREATH while you wait, cause there ain't NO WAY that I'm giving you ANYTHING! You start fighting your way back up the ladder, and maybe in a few MONTHS you can get a shot at the Warrior, or whoever's champ then. I ain't done talkin' yet, Dok! I've got more to say!

Dok: All right.

Jeff: Elizabeth, did you see the 123 Kid out here a few weeks ago, telling the nWo off?

Elizabeth: I DID see that!

Jeff: Kid, have you been living in a cave? The nWo is dead and gone now. Quit tryin' to ride its coattails, like you always did! But NOW I'd like to talk about something else. In fact, this guy knows I'm gonna be talking to him, and I invited him to come on out here. So Sting . . . if you're here, come on out!

(Double J looks to the curtain . . . but no one is there. Suddenly, a rope drops down next to the interview platform, and Sting repels down from it! Sting steps off the rope and stand on the platform, face to face with Double J.)

Jeff: Sting, I want to talk to you about something here today.

Sting: Talk to me.

Jeff: Stinger, the way I see it, you're on the right path here in the WWF. You threw the bat down at Todd weeks back . . . you dropped Taylor on his head at Qualify. You dropped Bischoff on his head after WrestleMania! You know what you want to do, Sting, you're just doing it in a Yugo . . . that's low on gas . . . with 4 flat tires . . . going uphill . . . driven by a blind nun . . .

Sting: I get the picture.

Jeff: Good. Now Sting, I gotta ask you . . . what's with all this?

(Double J motions to Sting's odd face paint, his black trench coat, his black hair, etc.)

Jeff: This isn't Sting! This is some cartoon character! This is some freak, thought up by JJ Dillon I'll bet, and you can't find your way out of it! Now Sting, come on . . . I want you to do it, the people want you to do it, even YOU want to do it. Lose the black clothes. Lose the baseball bat. Stop dropping down from the sky like Batman. Go back home, and bring back Sting! Not THIS!

Sting: What's the point? Look how well I've done like this. When people say "Sting" they say respect . . . they say awesome . . . and they say fear.

Jeff: They say "Look at the goof in the Crow suit," Sting! You know where you want to go, Sting. But doing this, and dropping down from the rafters jumping people, and being some weird outcast is not gonna get you there! These people MAKE or BREAK you in the WWF! Before the people got behind me, I couldn't beat ANYBODY! But now I'm champion! And I owe it to everyone out here! Sting, you're beating EVERYBODY! Imagine what you could do if you just changed your ways! Come on! What do you say?

(Sting takes the microphone from Jarrett, as a hush falls over the crowd. Sting looks out at the fans, and then back to Double J. Sting brings the microphone up to his face.)

Sting: I'll think about it.

(Sting drops the microphone and climbs down the steps of the podium. He stops and looks out at the crowd for a minute, and then disappears through the curtain. Double J bends down and picks the microphone back up.)

Jeff: You try to help people, and . . . ah well. Dok, am I past my time yet?

Dok: I'm not sure, Jeff, I don't have a SUN DIAL with me!

Jeff: Ha Ha Ha! One last thing before I go. Vader . . . don't think that what happened on Raw last week was a one time shot. I'm gonna be all over you everytime I see you until I get you back in the ring! And when I DO get you back in the ring, one thing will be certain. Win or lose . . . it's gonna be JARRETT TIME!!

(Double J's music starts up again, as Jarrett and Elizabeth make their way back to the dressing rooms, slapping hands with the fans as they go.)