VALETIA VON STRAHDEN
'Bloodletting' by Concrete Blonde plays over the loudspeakers as the lights go off. A single spotlight shines on the Druids carrying the casket down to the ring. Raven removes his cloak, and opens the casket lid. Valetia Von Strahden rises up and steps into the ring alongside Raven.
VVS: Greetings all my Creatures of the Night!
The lights come back on.
VVS: I have a little surprise for you tonight. Tonight I reveal that the man known and beloved by you as the Undertaker is really the Underfaker! That's right he showed compassion for Ms. Tyr so he is naught really a member of the DARKSIDE either! I will prove this to you now! Please come down!
A short, bald man walks out from the crowd and steps into the ring.
VVS: Greetings Sir. Please tell everyone your name and your job here at the WWF.
Man: I am Kevin Ross, the Pyrotechnics Director of the WWF.
VVS: Ah yes the Pyrotechnics Director. That means that you handle all of the smoke and the lights and that type of stuff right?
Kevin: That's correct.
VVS: Okay, now how long have you been sitting in the crowd?
Kevin: Since you asked me to right before you walked out.
VVS: So you did naught handle any of my so-called pyrotechnics when I walked to the ring?
Kevin: No, somehow you must've done it yourself.
VVS: Now let me ask you something. What do you do when the Undertaker walks out to the ring?
Kevin: I do whatever I'm supposed to do. I turn off the lights and watch for him to raise his hands so that I can turn them back on and I also control his background music.
VVS: That's what I thought.
VVS gives him the BITE and leaves him down in the ring.
VVS: Now Underfaker you walk out with Tyr and let's see some Pyrotechnics! hahahahahahaha.
Raven: So it is written, so it shall come to pass. Quote the Raven...NEVERMORE!!!!!
VVS and Raven leave the ring and head to the back with the Druids.
JR: Is she...? She's.... ? Is she saying the Undertaker is FAKE? I don't think that's going to set well with Tyr and the Undertaker. Well... Bam Bam Bigelow is standing by with some exciting news. Let's go to him now!
BAM BAM BIGELOW
Bam Bam Bigelow is in the back.
Bam Bam: Hey wrestlin' fans... Vice President Bam Bam Bigelow here. And I got a suprise for you. As you know, many of our on-line newsletters have been met wit' a great response. And Mean Gene's 900 Hotline is the highest rated phone number inna world! Well, plop on top of that our massive web site and homepage collection, and you have a multimedia experience that'll shake the foundations.
Bam Bam: Well, we're addin' something else... the WWF MAGAZINE! Lemme bring in now... the Editor in Chief of the Newsletter.... Mr. Wierd Alie Hetfield!
The man walks out like he owns the place and just says how yall doin tonight he's wearin an HBK t-shirt he's got a go-t with some M-J shoe's
Bam Bam: Mr. Hetfield, or can I call ya 'CHIEF', how are you doin'?
Hetfield:Mr. Hetfield. that sounds good. I am doin just swell.
Bam Bam: Man, that's great. Now, I've seen the prototype for the Magazine and it looks exciting. There's a lot of interestin' departments that will be in it. Can you give us a rundown of the contents?
Hetfield: 1. We have got a news section just a recap of what has happend lately 2.Of course (with a big grin) we have some exciteing rumors 3.It will have a behind the sceens which i need some to do this section. 3.We will have weekly Polls 4. i am hopeing to have someone do an opions column for me. 5.A little note form me in each issue.Hey and i am goin to try to come up wit a few more colums. Ah just one little joke please ok thanx is it just me or does every time Bret Hart does his hair he uses a whole bottle of W-D 40
Bam Bam: Alright. Now, you're just the Editor in Chief, Chief. You write a lot of stuff... but you want writers, right? Tell the people what your lookin' for.
Hetfield: Hey i am just looking for people to do the sections that i informed were avlible or if ya have your own tell me just if you want to write please get your colums in on time
Bam Bam: Can wrestlers write columns?
Hetfield: Yes of course they can silly but i only need about five and two wrestler columns
Bam Bam: How often can we expect to see the WWF Magazines in our e-mail inboxes?
Hetfield: OH lets say every three weeks that sound good.
Bam Bam: Mr. Hetfield, you seem like a nice guy. I wish you all the luck in your magazine. Put me down for a subscription. I don't wanna miss a SENTENCE of the WWF!
Bam Bam looks off camera.
Bam Bam: Hey... there's Venus Victrix! Goin' ta Piper's office. Let's check this out....
