WWF Superstars, June 21, 1997WWF Superstars, June 21, 1997MEAN GENE INTERVIEWS SUSANNAH CECILY HELMSLEY
Mean Gene stands backstage in the interview section.
Mean Gene: All right, please welcome in here my guest at this time ... Miss Susannah Cecily Helmsley.
Susannah Helmsley steps into the frame, carrying her laptop computer. She glances at Mean Gene, then turns her nose up at him and glares coldly at the camera instead.
Mean Gene: All right, Miss Helmsley. Here today on Superstars, you were slated for a one-on-one ... well, it's SLATED to be a one-on-one encounter between you and Venus Victrix, but with Taylor Tech that is rarely the case! As we saw from TNT a few weeks back, Venus asked Piper for this match with you, but a workout injury is going to prevent her from being able to wrestle today. What are your feelings on this upcoming showdown?
Helmsley: Gene, it seems as if Venus wants to rise to the top of the WWF. And she's attempting to use me as a stepping stone. So Venus, I just have one piece of advice for you. Watch that first step ... cause it's a DOOZY! I don't know who Venus is ... she claims to be the Goddess of Suplexes, or something of that nature.
Mean Gene: The Goddess of Suplexes! Indeed!
Helmsley: Gene, all I know is that whenever she gets up the guts to actually step in the ring, this "Goddess" will be struck down by the lightning of those more powerful than she. Workout injury? *laughs* What a truly pathetic cover for an obvious loss of nerve. I think Miss Victrix realizes she bit off much more than she can chew... but it's too late for her now. And I can't wait to see the look on the face of that little brat she handed a free ticket to when he finds out his "hero" backed down... I suppose it is better than watching his hero get beaten to a pulp, however.
Mean Gene: Miss Helmsley, I'd like to get your opinion on another matter, if I could. This past week on Raw, your team of Money Inc. went in against the AWESOME combo of Psycho Sid and Sting for the WWF Tag Titles. But due to some miscommunications, some miscues ... some misunderstandings, if you will, between Sid and Sting, Taylor and The Giant managed to squeak out a victory. Are you worried that this type of situation may happen again, where not only the Titles but the very FUTURE of Taylor Tech is on the line?
Hemlsley: Gene, that was a shining example of the consipiracy against Taylor Tech. We all know that Piper isn't above conspiring against a certain group, because of his dislike for the leader. We all heard him admit that he'd gotten Lucifer Graves into the nWo. He staged a conspiracy against Jeff Jarrett and the nWo, and now he's trying to do the same to Taylor Tech.
Mean Gene: A CONSPIRACY?! You've gotta be kidding me!
Helmsley: It's no joke, Gene. But we have learned from the past mistakes of others, and we won't be drawn into Piper's traps any longer. Yes, we faced the mystery team, and we pulled out ahead. And there's nothing more that Piper, Sting, Sid, or anyone can do. Taylor Tech is here to stay.
Mean Gene: Well, be that as it may ... Miss Helmsley, there's another subject I wanted to talk with you about ... and that would be your apparent problems with Starr Blaze!
Helmsley: Ahh, yes. Starr Blaze. It seems that macing her and knocking her upside the head with my trusty laptop here wasn't enough to stop her.
Mean Gene: And neither was The Machine on TNT two weeks back!
Helmsely: Starr Blaze is shining example of that old saying, Gene, about having more guts than brains. But I can assure you that when we're done with her ... when I'M done with her ... she will have had BOTH of those very things stomped in! The Machine I believe has been making a tactical error, you see... he has been kicking her in the head, or attempting to cut off the flow of blood and oxygen to the brain... since Starr Blaze apparently possesses little in that sense, it's no surprise she can shrug off such assaults. So the next time...
Suddenly Starr Blaze storms into the interview area! She gets right into Hemsley's face as Mean Gene backs up, wary of being between the two women. Starr grabs Okerlund's wrist and pulls it so the mike remains between her and Susannah.
Starr: What is your PROBLEM, Helmsley?! First you back down from me on RAW two weeks ago, then you send the Corpulent Stooge and the GIANT to sneak attack me! Have you lost the nerve to even hit me while I'm not looking?
Helmsley: I had nothing to do with that!
Starr: Oh yeah! You expect me to believe the Machine and Giant came up with that on their own? Between the two of them they have about enough brainpower and initiative to figure out how to use a toothpick! The Machine doesn't even seem t'know how to TALK!
Helmsley: The Machine lets his *actions* speak for him.
Starr: Yeah, he does! A coward who can't win any sort of fair fight... no wonder you and he get along!
Helmsley: (snorts disdainfully) You're all talk, little Ranger... why don't you run along now before you and all those plebians pledging to come to your rescue get hurt? Poor little Starr... good thing she has her big, STRONG Sting, and Ultimate Warrior, and other *MEN* to defend her.
Starr almost takes a swing at Helmsley before stopping herself. She looks at the cringing Mean Gene and then lets go of the mike and shakes her head.
Starr: We'll save this for the ring, Helmsley...
Starr turns and starts to leave... Helmsley holds her pose of snobbish disinterest for a moment... then lifts her laptop to crack it over Blaze's head! Starr... SPINS AND KICKS IT FROM HELMSLEY'S HANDS!!! She tackles into the blueblood with a cry of rage, driving her back out of the interview area and slamming her against a wall! Helmsley pounds her fists on Starr's back and then yanks her up by the hair, throwing her towards a table full of lighting equipment... Starr holds on and they BOTH tumble over the table!! Stuff flies EVERYWHERE as they hit the ground, rolling over and over with fists flailing!!!
Mean Gene: My GOD, they're gonna KILL each other! Get some help in here!!
Officials pour into the room, trying to pry the two women apart... they're separated - NO! Helmsley throws off the officials holding her back... she barrels into Blaze again and the fight continues! More officials come in, and with them... STING! He forcibly separates the two who are each then held back by several people. Blaze flails a kick at Helmsley as she's pulled away and Sting gets in to calm her down.
Sting: Starr! This is not the time... let it go!
Blaze blinks and looks at Sting, then nods, stopping her struggles. Helmsley straightens herself out opposite, and snorts at the pair in disdain as she is escorted out by the officials. She and Blaze glare at each other until the eye contact is lost...
The camera swings back around to Mean Gene, who is adjusting his bowtie.
Mean Gene: Whew! No love lost between those two... when they finally meet in the ring, I pity the ref who has to get between them!
He leans in to the camera confidentially...
Mean Gene: Hey Piper, any chance you could add some mud or oil to the match-up? HA! (looks around nervously in case one of the ladies might have heard him)
Mean Gene: *ahem* Let's go now... to a SPECIAL edition of the King's Court. You're not gonna believe THIS! Let's go there now.