RESULTS: Monday Night Raw June 23, 1997

KING'S COURT

King: Welcome, peons, to a very special edition of the King's Court. One of TWO here this week! My 2nd guest ... well, we'll talk about him later! My FIRST guest is very special! Well ... sort of. She recently had a GREAT match with Roxanne for the Ladies Title, but she came up a bit short in that one. She's been linked to ... well, it'd be faster for me to name the people she HASN'T been linked to! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! And if you haven't figured it out by now, here she is ... HEART ATTACK!!

No More Tears by Ozzy Osborne begins to play throughout the arena. Bright blue heart gels strobe on the crowd and the entryway. H.A. steps through the curtains dressed in a black mini dress, black high-heeled boots and a black leather jacket. In one fluid motion, she blows double kisses to the fans, spins and click-bangs at the curtains with her hand...

Derrick Stardom steps through in his black tuxedo jacket and full-lenghth black tights, white boots and gloves and a silver bow-tie to complete the ensemble. He tilts his head and nods to Heart Attack with a confident grin, then holds his arm out and let's her take it.

Heart Attack takes Stardom's arm, and they begin to walk up the aisle. The King sees Stardom, and looks slightly upset, as he looks around the ring..

King: Now wait a minute here ... nobody invited YOU out to the King's Court, "Badd Boy". Why don't you just step off to the side and keep quiet so I can get on with this interview.

Stardom: King... NOBODY NEEDS to invite me. BBDS looks fine enough to be his OWN engraved invitation. You just get ON with it, and I'll stand here and let you think all the flash bulbs goin' off are for YOU!

King: Security, get this guy out of here!

The King checks around ... but nothing happens.

King: HEY! Security!

Again, there's no movement anywhere.

King: Their headsets must be broken! Stardom, just stand over there and practice saying "Do you want fries with that?" You may have to USE it after later tonight! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! NOW ... Heart Attack, like I mentioned, you recently had a great matchup against Roxanne for the title! You didn't come up with the win that time, but you COULD do it in a rematch! How do you think that match went for you? Did you learn anything from it?

Heart Attack: A rematch... yeah, that's do-able. King, the most important thing I got out of that match was this. Focus is great, but it isn't everything you need to win. I need to train a little more often. Take things a little more seriously. Just a little though...(She smiles slyly over at Derrick)... Derrick and I have a very busy schedule as it is.

King: Oh, PLEASE. And I thought Sting and Starr Blaze were bad. Well, actually ... they ARE! Now Heart Attack, I gotta ask you ... what do you see in this guy over here?

The King motions to Stardom.

King: It can't be that he beats up announcers, cause The Blizzard beat on Kevin Kelly once, and you didn't go after him. It can't be cause he lies about how great he is, cause half the WWF does that. It CAN'T be cause he's good looking, cause you'd have come after ME a LONG time ago if that was the case! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! Just what IS it?!

Stardom rears his head back with a cocky look, as if he knows the answer to Final Jeopardy and isn't saying.

Heart Attack: Derrick is the ONLY one in the WWF who tells the truth about how great he is, King. He's loyal, he takes great care of me. (She winks luciously at Derrick) And he's got honor. Derrick has never taken a hand-out victory. Even when faced with losing his title. Of course, I have to mention that he's NOT good-looking. He's drop dead GORGEOUS!

Stardom smiles at Heart Attack, then looks straight out to the fans, as if SHOWING them just how gorgeous he is.

King: The only guy who tells the truth?! Keep your eyes on King's Court number TWO here tonight! But, Heart Attack, when you've got Stardom on the outside, and people after HIM ... you gotta know they'd be coming after you, just to upset him! I've seen you do some broadcasting lately ... I've done commentating WITH you, as I'm sure you remember! I hear you'll be writing a column for the WWF Magazine! How do you concentrate with all this stuff going on?!

Heart Attack: Well, lately I haven't been concentrating very well. But I've always done a lot at once. I'm not willing to change that. I just have to get meaner and better prepared. Like the Anvil. He's never suprised!

King: Yeah ... he's never SOBER, either! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! Ok. What do you think about this wedding with Corey Major and Wild Chylde?! You used to be with Corey. What do you think about him getting married?! You a little jealous? Come on! Admit it!

Heart Attack: Jealous... me? King, I don't GET jealous of people. I make THEM jealous of me. Seriously, I'm happy for Corey. I just hope he's ready for it, and she's the right one for him. Marriage is a HUGE change for him, a huge SUDDEN change.

King: Yeah ... I'm SURE you're being honest there! All right, just one last thing, Heart Attack. Like I mentioned, we used to commentate together, and there was ANOTHER shining ray of brilliance at ringside ... and he's now the WWF Champion! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! So go ahead, offer your congratulations to your friend and mine, Brian Pillman!

Heart Attack: (snickers and shakes her head) Okay... let's see. (She looks up at the ceiling) Congratulations Brian, for having a sudden beam of luck strike you for your match against Vader. (She looks back down at the King and smirks) He IS god isn't he?

King: Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! YEAH! It's about time you wised up!

The King tests his breath on his hand.

King: Sooooo ... before we leave here, Heart Attack, it's kinda customary that the ladies here on the King's Court leave with a ... well, you know! A KISS! And before froggy over there decides to leap -

The King again motions to Stardom.

King: It's only a kiss! Right here on the cheek! And Stardom, if you even THINK about touching me, I'll make a phone call and bring a guy that I know HATES you more than anything right here next week to take care of you! So look before you leap!

Stardom looks away from the King, glancing upwards.

Stardom: King... you're more then welcome to try... and FAIL!!

Stardom just looks out into the stands with a confident smirk. He takes out his shades, fogs his breath on them, then cleans them on his jacket, non-chalantly.

King: Come on, Heart Attack, what do you say?

Heart Attack: If I'm going to risk something like this (she nods her head at Derrick). I'll have to be for something a LOT tastier... and that kind of flavor just DOESN'T exist, King.

She grabs Derrick and snuggles up to him. He turns his head slowly to face the King and shrugs.

King: Ahhh, who cares anyway?! When Roxanne gets here, THEN I'll care if I get a kiss! Not from YOU! I'm PROUD to be on the list of guys in the WWF that you HAVEN'T ruined! Get out of here! I've got a SPECIAL guest to prepare for! And Stardom ... the pleasure of being here on the King's Court was all YOURS! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!

Stardom looks down at Heart Attack and nods...

Heart Attack: LIGHTS OUT!!!

The lights in the arena click off abruptly. Tiny beams of light fall down from the rafters, forming a galaxy of stars beneath the King's feet.

King: Oh PLEASE! Turn that camera off ...

The screen fades out.