WWF Superstars, July 19, 1997WWF Superstars, July 19, 1997MILLION DOLLAR MAN TED DIBIASE
Ted DiBiase is sitting up in a superbox high above a WCW wrestling card. Standing behind him are armed security guards dressed all in black with shades on.
Ted: So Wild Chylde, your team is continuing to grow, for better or for worse, and now I see the worry in your eyes. The desperation in your voice. You realize that the team you choose has to be near unbeatable. The team you choose has to be as good as it can possibly be. Because the team you will be FACING... just could be the FEMME FATALES!
Ted: Gold-Dust, you've made the right decision my friend. You name your price and the Million Dollar Man can match it. And if you're actually successful... I'll DOUBLE IT! AHAHAHA!!
Ted: But with what has been put in front of you so far, shouldn't worry you a bit. You have Roxanne... a woman who is quite literally on her LAST legs! HAHAHAHA!! And now... HEART ATTACK? A woman with NO morals.. NO couth! A woman that I remember... kissing my FEET and barking like a DOG at WrestleMania III for some pocket change. Hahaha!! The Femme Fatales will have you barking in PAIN at Summerslam... with the RIGHT motivation!
Ted DiBiase holds up his checkbook and he laughs.
Ted: And that would leave Wild Chylde DiBiase... all alone... and with no one to protect her. And then... the Femme Fatales will give her a taste of her own medicine. For what she did to Womankind... she will pay for tenfold. Wild Chylde, I taught you all about loans and money. And you understand INTEREST! Just think how much INTEREST will acrue until Summerslam 1997. Wild Chylde, you will be out of commision for a LONG, LONG time! HHAHAHA!!
Ted: But Wild Chylde, for all the trauma you put me through... for the emotional divorce that you placed on me, I want to see you SUFFER! I don't want the Femme Fatales to end it quickly. And that's why I will give you.... some MOTIVATION! Suffice it to say Wild Chylde... that should YOUR team be victorious, there will be... quite a PRIZE for you in the end.
Ted: So choose your team wisely, daughter. Because at Summerslam, I want you at your best. I want to see you FAIL miserably AGAIN! You've failed as a daughter... and now you'll FAIL as a career woman... because you NEVER listened... to a word I said. And at Summerslam, I will PROVE that I am the superior intellect... the superior businessman... and the superior PERSON. And that YOU are simply... MY INFERIOR!!! HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!!!
The camera fades out as Ted turns back to the event.
Pillman: Where is my MANNERS!? Heart Attack, you're looking... uh... as lovely as ever tonight. And J.R.... you're more portly then usual, it seems. Hitting up the ho-ho's again?
J.R.'s mouth opens without the words for retaliation.
Heart Attack: Pillman, LEAVE J.R. BE!! Wait a sec... LOVELY? Oh you ARE pouring it on, aren't you?
Pillman: Absolutely! And it's working, ain't it? I mean... not that it's not true, RIGHT?
Pillman looks to the fans behind him, who cheer for Heart Attack.
Pillman: I am only stating FACT! And I am... as you all can remember... the leader of the New Revolution. I don't conform to current trends. I create my OWN. And I am the first ... NON-LOVE interest... to point out just how superb Derrick Stardom is. I have officially fueled and launched the soon to be unstoppable Derrick Stardom bandwagon!
Heart Attack: (looks confused, not knowing what to say) Uh... of course Derrick's superb! And he deserves every ounce of recognition he gets! But you're piling it so deep, I'm afraid you're gonna BURY him!
Pillman: I have to ensure that the message gets through to him... but also to the tousands and thousands of Derrick fans-to-be! And if my words don't remind everyone how great he is... just wait until Monday Night Raw!!!!
Heart Attack: You ARE a dedicated man, Pillman. At least all this stuff keeps you so busy, you can't bother anybody else!
Pillman: You'd be suprised! Speaking of BUSY though! What I'm doing HAS to be a good thing, even from YOUR point of view! I mean... with all the attention Stardom's been getting... all the free publicity.. his ego must be HUGE! You and he are probably having some pretty wonderful...
Heart Attack: (stands up abruptly and looks down) WHAT!!?? The LAST thing I want to think about contributing to Derrick's SEX DRIVE is YOU!! UGH! (sits back down)
JR: C'mon now! This is WWF Superstars! We're not IN the prime-time slot! Kids could be watching!!!
Pillman: Once again, I've only stated the FACTS! HAHA!!! Speaking of facts... you two stay put. I've got someone to speak to up in the ring....