RESULTS: Monday Night Raw July 28, 1997

STARR BLAZE

The camera fades in on Blaze in her command chair, animatedly arguing with the red "eye" on the panel which designates HIL.

Starr: Would you knock it off? Of COURSE I know what I'm doing! And as far as...

Blaze stops, having seen the camera... she blows out a deep breath.

HIL: THEY ARE WAITING...

Starr: Yeah, I know! Look, Citizen Jade... good to see you back and all, even if you are hiding your face in the shadows still. But this tongue lashing from you is out of line...

HIL: SHE MAKES SOME VALID POINTS...

Starr: Aww, HIL, c'mon! Can't you at least help me present a united front here?

HIL: ILLOGICAL. I HAVE ADVISED AGAINST THE ACTIONS TAKEN AND THERE IS NO REASON FOR ME TO IMPLY OTHERWISE.

Starr pulls her knees up under her chin grumpily.

HIL: STARR?

Starr: Hrmph... I feel like a ping pong ball the way I'm getting bashed at both ends...

HIL: I AM NOT "BASHING" YOU... I MERELY...

Starr: Okay, okay! Last thing I need to deal with is a computer with hurt feelings. Alright Jade, look... as HIL here has been nagging me, maybe I have been a bit wild of late - but the way you talk you're painting me as some sort of criminal and I don't like that one bit. By your logic a highway patrolman should write a ticket to himself for speeding when he has to speed to chase down a felon. By your interpretation the officers who cuff a mugger and drag him to jail should be jailed themselves because they're "kidnapping" him, aren't they? And before you go claiming this isn't my juris- diction, well, someone has to dispense some justice around here and your own law enforcement just doesn't seem up to the task! That's not an insult to them, they're not trained or equipped enough to handle nasties like the Legion of Death.

Starr: The Machine was taken because HIL needed to take some x-rays to absolutely confirm the foot situation. And yeah, we took the time to have a bit of fun with him... after the beating he dished out to me I could've done a LOT worse without anyone disagreeing with my being in the right to do so... do you know what it feels like to be choking to death while being repeatedly slammed in the back of the head with a steel plate only slightly cushioned by flesh? Let me tell you it put a damper on my day... and I notice your buddies the Sensei and Diesel didn't mind having their own fun with the Machine at the party we threw... guess they would be guilty by association, eh?

HIL: STARR...

Starr: Look, lemme finish my piece okay? Please?

HIL: VERY WELL.

Starr sighs.

Starr: Speaking of Diesel... guess who got maced, choked, and beaten on several occasions due to being the only one there to help when Helmsley cracked her laptop on him? Now look, I'm not complaining about the lumps, I expected those... I'm also not gonna make cracks about "Where were you?" because I'm sure you woulda come out if you'd seen it... you seem like a good, loyal person to your friends. But if you're going to join Helmsley in claiming I "assaulted" her criminally, I take *major* exception to that. And that's the kind of logic you seem to be following. Beast and Vulture made what amounted to threats of grevious bodily harm on my person or those I care about... okay, we're in a profession where threats of grevious bodily harm are being made all the time, but these are two guys we saw nearly cut off Citizen Roxanne's LEG with a SCYTHE! Then they attacked a helpless family at ringside and came very close to severely injuring a small child... I thought maybe the beating the Hart Foundation gave them would have backed them off, but the very next night they come on TV telling me my time's running out. Then they tell me I have to make someone BLEED to satisfy them!

Starr: I'm not going to sit there and take that... maybe you would, but I'd sure question your judgement in doing so. Of course I went to the hospital... they gave the deadline for a night they still had to be there... in fact, they were supposed to have still been there another week. These two are guys who'd think nothing of taking my guts out for Christmas decorations... if I listened to the purely military side of my Ranger training the only choice to prevent that would've been to kill them. But I didn't... I'm a good guy and someone who's got a lot of people and kids looking up to me, and I also just plain don't do things like that except in the utmost extreme. That's the other side of being a Ranger. The only thing I injured that night was the LOD's pride and I'm sure there were a lot of kids out there who didn't mind seeing the scum gooped for what they did and tried to do.

Starr: HIL's brought up that you're probably looking back to my interview where I condemned the LOD for beating down Citizen Austin from behind. Well, I believe the operative concept in the 20th century would be "unnecessary force" - I think I have yet to use unnecessary force in any of the injustices I've sought to correct... most times I haven't even touched some perps who REALLY deserved a good sound butt kicking for their crimes. The people are the ultimate law, and so far the people have had nothing but support for my actions... the day they don't will be the day I know I've gone too far.

Starr: There's rumours you'll be the fifth bridesmaid for Wild Chylde's team now that you've returned. If she picks you, great! But don't be tossing the 'h' word around anymore... Miss DiBiase severely injured Citizen Womankind above and beyond what was necessary for the match... not to say Womankind didn't deserve it, but again by your logic as it stands now that makes Wild Chylde another criminal in your books who has to shape up or go down at your hands. As far as that skull goes, well, that was Stinger's issue, and I'd remind you your manager is no stranger to stealing as can be seen from the recently restored archives concerning the Rebirth.

Starr: Maybe you have no problem with stealing or any other crime you mentioned, and just have a problem with me being a law enforcement officer and being party to it. Well, all I can say on that is, get used to it! Policemen seizing evidence isn't stealing, just like all those other examples I give above. You can call me a vigilante if you want to, but the bottom line isn't just Law and Order, it's about Justice! Being brave enough to stand up for the helpless innocents that otherwise would fall prey to evil. If you feel you gotta look down at me for that, that you gotta bring me down for that... well, I guess I'll have to live with that. I think it's a waste of time and energy for us both and one that probably wouldn't look too good on your own record... look how many bad vibes Sting generated with that whole thing with Slick. Concentrate on the badguys Jade, you're barking yourself up the wrong tree, here...

Starr uncurls herself and rests back in the chair, looking tired.

HIL: FINISHED?

Starr: Yeah... I guess...

HIL: GOOD. NOW, AS I WAS SAYING BEFORE...

Starr: Aww, man!

HIL: YOU ARE THE CHOSEN REPRESENTATIVE OF EARTH AS CONSUL AND OPERATIVE IN THE 20TH CENTURY, AND AS SUCH YOU ARE EXPECTED TO BEHAVE IN A MANNER BEFITTING...

Blaze folds her arms and listens, looking tired and unhappy as the footage fades out...