A man in Dockers pants and a polo shirt is seen standing at a chalkboard, writing. He has a short blonde crew cut and appears to be wearing glasses.
King: It's DEAN DOUGLAS!! YES!
The man puts down the chalk and turns around ... and it's ...
King: STING?!?! What is THIS?? What's he doing, stealing other people's gimmicks? Who is he, the Blizzard?
JR: Maybe he's gotten a TEACHING degree while he's rested!
Sting: Attention, class. Today ... today we're going to learn about psychology. One special classification in particular, though. That being in the order of mental disorders.
The screen shows the words as Sting continues to narrate.
Sting: DEFINITION: Hallucination.
1. Perception of objects with no reality usually arising from disorder of the nervous system caused by, or in response to, drugs.
2. An unfounded or mistaken impression or notion.
Sting: Recently, as I viewed the action of World Wrestling Federation Superstars, I came across an example of a hallucination. Allow us to look to the satellite classroom.
Sting steps over to a TV, which has been set up with video equipment and a telestrator. He pushes a few buttons and the screen comes to life, showing Jim Cornette standing in the back.
Cornette on the TV: Everyone knows that I, James E. Cornette, am the undisputed Greatest Manager in WWF History!!
Sting stops the tape and picks up the telestrator stick.
Sting: Now look to Mr. Cornette's orbital region. He clearly seems to be in a distressed state, perhaps unable to control the verbage that spews forth from his mouth.
Sting circles Cornette's face.
Sting: Perhaps this stress has led Mr. Cornette to the hallucinations he has spewed forth. Let us look at some tape.
Sting clears off the screen and the image of Cornette changes to one of Jeff Jarrett and Cornette, standing in the ring together.
Sting: At this time, Mr. Cornette was leading two careers. One being of the man you see with him, Mr. Jeff Jarrett, and the other of Vader. Let us observe Mr. Cornette's actions.
Sting plays the tape, which shows Cornette repeatedly poking Jarrett in the chest, despite Jarrett's obvious disliking of his actions. Cornette continues for a bit before SLAPPING Jarrett across the face! Sting stops the tape.
Sting: Mr. Cornette slapping the face of one of his two main charges, thus ending the relationship between the two. Not exactly conduct becoming the "Greatest Manager in WWF history". Fast forward to that Thursday, and the debut episode of THURSDAY Night Titans.
Sting cues up the tape, showing Double J defeating Vader for the Intercontinental title. Jarrett holds the title overhead, and Sting stops the tape, circling the title belt.
Sting: The I/C title, which was the only one owned by Cornette, now in the possession of the man he'd let go just days earlier. Again, not something you'd expect from the WWF's Greatest Manager. Let us leap ahead to Qualify: 97, May of 1997.
Sting clicks another button, which shows Cornette standing in the ring with Elizabeth and the referee.
Sting: As seen here, Mr. Cornette and Jeff Jarrett's new manager Elizabeth argue over the status of a Championship match, pitting Jarrett against Vader in a rematch. Before the match, 2 men under the employ of Cornette assaulted Jarrett, lessening his chances of a successful title defense. Upon hearing Elizabeth's arguement, the referee declared the bout a No Contest, despite objections from Mr. Cornette. Yet again, hardly something that would happen to the WWF's top manager.
Sting hits the tape again, showing Double J wrapping the Figure Four on Vader inside a large Thunderdome cage.
Sting: May 31st, Superstars Revenge. Jeff Jarrett defeating Vader, now the WWF Champion, in a Chamber of Horrors match. A match that Cornette claims to have no memory of! His apparent memory loss surrounding this match can be deemed another ....
A voice from the back rings out.
Voice: Hallucination!
Sting: Very good. I now present footage from Tuesday Night Titans, several weeks back.
Sting starts up the tape, showing Jim Cornette standing with The Blizzard. The Blizzard wrestles the Crimson Assasin, as Jerry Lawler shouts in advice to the Assasin. Cornette in turn shouts advice to the Blizzard, but the Assasin manages to get an advantage.
Sting: Here, Cornette's newest charge was outmaneuvered by a prelim wrestler, thanks to the advice of another. If Cornette was the manager he claimed, this would not have happened.
Sting clicks the TV off and moves back to the chalkboard.
Sting: In conclusion, the boasts of Jim Cornette that he is the WWF's Greatest Manager are in fact incorrect. He seems to believe that a win here tonight by his man Vader over The Ultimate Warrior, managed by Bobby Heenan, will cement his claims. But win or lose tonight for Vader, Jim Cornette will NOT be recognized as the WWF's Greatest Manager. That position will be filled by any number of others ... Eddie Gilbert, Missy Hyatt, Sabrina Savage, Elizabeth ... possibly Bobby Heenan.
Sting: And now that I have presented the facts to you as they stand right now ... until next time, class dismissed.
Sting turns back to the board as the camera fades out.
King: HAHAHAHAHAHA!! DEAN STING!! I love it! Cornette's not the greatest at ANYTHING, except for hiring MORONS!
