STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN
The room is dark... set deep within an abandoned warehouse. A glint of something gold catches the camera... and Stone Cold Steve Austin walks up in front of a twisted chain link fence. Austin stands there for a second, holding his T.V. Title belt.
Austin: Summerslam is fast approaching, and we ain't heard SQUAT from Cornette to see ifn' he's gonna accept Raven's challenge. Sabrina done told him ta watch his mouth, less'n he got it busted up, but I think he's too scared to even SPEAK! I could care less whether it was Demolition or Vader... or the Dallas secondary... Stone Cold Steve Austin wants to whip some ass... and that's the bottom LINE!
Austin walks along the length of the fence.
Austin: Raven... you got the next shot at the T.V. title belt... and you may be Brian's friend. You may even be MY friend, but that don't mean I'm not gonna knock your teeth down your throat and wring your little bird neck. You can go on quoting what the Raven done says... but the only thing that matters is what Stone COLD says... and I say we're goin' to war over this title. And I also say that Austin 3:16 is goin' to say... I just whipped your ASS!
Austin continues to walk... but another figure is there. Austin looks up at the figure in the shadows.
Austin: Just where in the HELL do you think YOU'RE going?
Voice: Wherever I PLEASE!
The figure steps forward to show Badd Boy Derrick Stardom. Austin and he stare at each other for a moment.
Austin: T'ain't no tresspassin' around here, Stardom. This is MY place... not some stretched limo or mansion on the coast.
Stardom: BBDS graces WHEREVER he chooses, Austin... and THAT is the bottom line!
Austin continues to stare at him... but Stardom non-chalantly looks to the camera with a confident look.
Stardom: Austin's said some things, and now BBDS will do some talking. I've noticed that JoBo will be wrestling for the Intercontinental Title against Corey Major...
Austin: Major is the I/C champ, son. You have a problem with that?
Stardom: I've got no problem with that. But I DO have a problem with JoBo. Scott Hall once thought that he could just attack me whenever he felt like it. JoBo's been practicing that theory for a LONG time, but I haven't had the TIME for him. JoBo is a lot like pocket lint. You know it's there, but you never take the time to rid yourself of it.
Austin looks at Stardom as if he just sprouted a third eye.
Stardom: (puts his hand up to Austin to silence him) But by my black book, it's time for a little summer cleaning, and now that I've taken care of business... I may just want to take a vacation. And I can think of nothing that would be more relaxing or enjoyable then kicking JoBo's igloo-shaped carcass all across the continent!
Austin: Don't really matter none anyhow. Chaos is gonna shovel his illiterate ass back to the South Pole, just like he did the LAST time they met.
Stardom: Perhaps he will... but perhaps he won't. There's nothing certain there... but the one thing that IS certain, is that where JoBo goes, BBDS will go. And if he wants to rumble, then we'll rumble. But if he just wants to stand around and recite haiku, then he can do that alone. I've got more important things to do... like clean out the lint from my tuxedo pockets! JoBo... it's time for you to put up... AND shut-up! LIGHTS OUT!
The lights in the factory click off abruptly, leaving tiny stars lighting up the walls and ceiling.
Austin: You do that again and I'll whip your ass, son.
Stardom: The pleasure... was all yours!
JR: I don't know if those two can co-exist!
Pillman: Sure they can! They both have a competitive edge. That's all. They're best of friends almost! It just took some time!
JR: (not convinced) Sure. Those two will be duking it out within two months! That's my prediction!
Pillman: Look! It's Chico Santana!
JR: That isn't his name! It's Tito Santana! You know that! Let's go up to the ring, I think Tito is going to conduct an interview!
TITO SANTANA INTERVIEWS...
Tito Santana is up in the ring. He is wearing a 3 piece suit, and is holding a microphone. He pulls the mic to his face.
Tito: Ladies and Gentlemen. It is my pleasure to Interview tonight...THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR!!
The Warriors music BLASTS through the PA system! He emerges from the curtains at a dead sprint!! He is wearing a black and blue bladerunners sleevless duster, and a pair of black and blue trunks! He jumps on the apron and shakes the ropes! He hops over the top rope!
Tito: Warrior, you ask me to come out here tonight. Why?
Warrior: AAARRRGGGHHH...the Ultimate Warrior and the WWF...AT SUMMERSLAM! I pitty those fools who do not believe in the power...THE POWER OF THE WARRIOR! I REACH DOWN, AND I LIFT UP THOSE LITTLE WARRIORS...AND THE WWF! We, the WWF, will DESTROY Ted DiBiase's team! And as for you FAAROOQ...
"Pearl River Powerhouse" brings the entire crowd to their feet as Ahmed Johnson ROARS out through the curtains, as firey as EVER! He charges to the ring and shakes the ropes before leaping over!
Ahmed: FAAROOQ, I haven't forgotten PUNK! I haven't forgotten the UNDERHANDED <bleep> that you and Mero have pulled! SUMMERSLAM...YOU'RE GOIN DOWN! YOU'RE GOIN DOWN!
The Warrior starts running back and forth between the ropes, energizing the crowd. Ahmed pounds his fist into the air, leading the "YOU'RE GOIN DOWN!" chant. Tito laughs out loud at the spectacle! The Warrior snatches the mic.
Warrior: LEX LUGER! The day of reckoning is NEAR! You think that your intensity can match the intensity flowing through my veins, PUMPED BY NOT MY HEART BUT BY THE MILLIONS OF HEARTS OF THE LIL WARRIORS?! RAAAAAAAAAHH!!
The Warrior begins shaking the ropes, emptying every seat in the house!
Tito: At Summerslam, these men have a date with destiny! And the WCW, it looks they're date isn't looking so great! ARRIBA, ARRIBA!
JR: Warrior and Ahmed are getting PSYCHED about their match at Summerslam! For more on this card... let's go back to Dok Hendriks in the Event Center!
Pillman: (yawns)
