WWF Superstars, August 9, 1997WWF Superstars, August 9, 1997BARBERSHOP
Brutus Beefcake is standing in the ring with a microphone in one hand, and his hedge clippers in another. He is wearing a red and white pin-striped coat and matching tights.
Brutus: Alright! It's been AWHILE since you folks have been GRACED with a barber shop, But NOW I'm back! Boy, I can't WAIT for Corey's bachelor party! That'll be GREAT! But, on to my guest. My guest tonight, is a UNIQUE man. He is a CLOSE friend of mine. And he manages some of the greatest atheletes in the WWF! Here tonight....BOBBY THE BRAIN..HEENAN!!
'Bad Mo Fo' plays throughout the arena! Bobby steps from the curtains. He's wearing a WRESTLING SINGLET!! He struts down the isle, and into the ring. He jumps up on the middle turnbuckle and raises his hands! As FIREWORKS go off! He steps down from the turnbuckle.
Brutus: HA HA! Bobby! HA HA! Alright Bob, let's get to it! There are rumors in the back that YOU and the Blizzard were exchanging WORDS backstage. Is this True?!
Bobby: Brutus, me and you BOTH know how the blizzard is. Well, He POPS off his mouth TOO many times! AND blizzard, You've done went and opened your TRAP ONE too many times!! So Blizzard, I CHALLENGE you to a match! I get ONE stimpulation though. It will be announced the day of the card.
Brutus: But Bobby, you haven't wrestled in YEARS. DECADES!
Bobby: Brutus, do you think THE BRAIN can't take this Humanoid?! I will beat HIM! And I will extend his LOSING streak!
Brutus: *HaHaHa* So, is there anything else that you'd like to say, while you're in control of the mic?!
Bobby: One more thing, I am in negotiations with some NEW talent. I already manage The Pearl River Powers, BOTH of the bladerunners, Sting, and the Warrior. BUT, there is Still more talent to come to the Brain.
Brutus: Well, thanks for comin on Bobby!
Bobby: You're welcome brutus!
'Bad Mo Fo' plays through the arena! Bobby Jumps up on the second turnbuckle and raises both arms! He jumps down and rolls under the bottom rope! He heads to the back!
Pillman: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh... I gotta see THIS! AHHAHAHAA!!! Bobby Heenan.... he's going to BEAT the Blizzard!!!! HAHAHAA!!! I can't TAKE IT!! YES!!! HAHAHAHA!!!
JR: Now Brian, the Brain hasn't wrestled in years. And even when he DID, he never really set the world on fire!
Pillman: And that's STILL enough to beat the Blizzard! HAHAHA!! Oh, he'd better not accept! Cornette... do the wise thing... back out! Don't accept the challenge!! HEE HEE!!! HAHAAHA!!! HO HO!!
NEW WRESTLER PROMO
The outline of a woman can be seen. Strobe lights flash in the background, and soft music plays quietly. The woman steps forward so that her face appears. She has short red hair, which falls down about her face, and she is quite attractive. She speaks quietly.
Woman: Since the day that this world was first graced by my presense, it has been my destiny to make it big in the World Wrestling Federation. And after years of training in America, studying in Japan, practicing in Europe ... I am finally here.
Woman: And now that I am here, my destiny will be realized. I will rise up to the levels of stardom that were thought to be unobtainable. The WWF is full of great athletes such as Roxanne, Gold-Dust, Heart Attack ... all trying to reach high levels of greatness. All trying to carve out their niche in the wrestling world. But you see, I am different than those others. My path to greatness has already been cleared. My niche has already been carved.
Woman: My destiny is to become the most famous wrestler in World Wrestling Federation history, and I will achieve that status. Through the hard work of others, I will become a legend ... a goddess ... a star!
Woman: So without any further ado, WWF ... prepare yourself for the arrival of ...
The woman raises her hand and blows a kiss, shooting glitter out of her hand. As the glitter flies up, her face is covered and the shot switches as the glitter falls down, spelling out in beautiful script ...
TIFFANY DESTINY.
A gust of air blows the glitter away, as the words "Coming Soon to the WWF" appear on the screen.
BAM BAM BIGELOW
Dok Hendriks and Todd Pettingill are walking up a hallway. Todd is dressed in a shirt and tie. His hair is wetted and slicked back, and he is clean shaven. Todd is holding his nose in pain as he goes, muttering about a Pedigree. Dok is colorfully attired. They stop in front of a door that says... Bam Bam.
Todd and Dok look to each other, then Dok raps on the door. Bam Bam's voice is heard.
Bam Bam: Who is it?
Dok: Uhhh... it's me! Dok! Todd's here! (whispers to Todd) You better not be trying to get me in trouble. I stuck my neck out for this.
Todd: I appreciate it big guy.
Bam Bam opens the door. Todd seems to straighten up when he sees him.
Bam Bam: Come in.
Todd steps into the room. Bam Bam's eyes follow him, then dart toward Dok who is walking in. Bam Bam puts his hand up in front of him.
Bam Bam: Not you Dok. This is between me an' Todd.
Dok fumbles for words, but finds none. He reluctantly steps back as Bam Bam closes the door. Dok stomps his foot, then looks at the camera.
Dok: Welll... looks like I'll have to wait it out with the rest of you. Personally, I don't think Pettingill stands a chance! But getting him that meeting was the LEAST I could do. I'll keep you posted.
The camera fades out.
TAPED SEGMENT
2 men, who's faces are covered in the shadows, stand before the camera. They're voices are clearly distorted and no clues as to their identities can be obtained.
Man #1: It's been quite a long time since we tore up the tag team ranks here in the WWF. But now that we're back, we'll start right off where we once were.
Man #2: The WWF hasn't seen a team like us in years. But we have made our return, and we have done so for only one reason.
Man #1: I see a lot of good teams in the World Wrestling Federaton today, but one doesn't seem to fit in with that statement. Legion of Death, you have embarassed not only yourselves but the very sport that you chose as a profession.
Man #2: You beat on helpless women, you attack men with weapons when you know they would beat you senseless if you were unarmed. We have beaten you both like the dogs you are many times before, and we will do it again.
Man #1: Legion of Death, accept our challenge and we will rid the WWF of the sickening plague that is the two of you. And even if your cowardly ways extend past your fighting style, we will still get our hands on you. Watch your backs... if you value your health.
The two men step forward to the camera and their faces become clear! But they are both wearing masks. The men step back into the shadows and laugh as the scene fades to black.