WWF Superstars, August 9, 1997

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MEAN GENE INTERVIEWS STING

Mean Gene and Sting are showing standing in the back. Sting wears a Main Event Fitness tank top, workout pants, and sunglasses.

Gene: All right, I'm standing here with the Stinger, and Sting I gotta ask you -

Just then, Kimberly comes into the view from off camera.

Kimberly: Hold on a second, Gene. I gotta search you.

Gene: Uh ... what in the world?! Kimberly, don't you think you're taking this job a little too seriously?

Kimberly looks to Gene with a pouty expression, almost offended.

Kimberly: No! Now hold still!

Kim procedes with her pat down of Mean Gene, then slaps him on the back.

Kimberly: You're clean!

Kim disappears off to the right, as Gene adjusts his bow tie and clears his throat, trying to supress a large grin.

Sting: Do YOU think she's taking her job too seriously?

Gene: Nevermind that!

Sting chuckles.

Gene: Now Sting, there's a couple of things I want to get to, but first things first. We saw last week that the LOD staged a sickening attack on Flash Funk. How is he doing? Has this set him back at all?

Sting: You know, it's funny you should mention that, Gene. The LOD is so keen on bringing tapes in, I thought I'd make one of my OWN! Check this out.

Sting points off camera, and he and Gene look to a monitor. The tape appears on the screen for the home viewers.

Two large men climb out of a car in the arena's parking lot, looking around. A handheld camera is ducking behind a car on the opposite side. The 2 men turn towards the camera, and as it zooms in ... it's shown that they are BEAST AND VULTURE!

The LOD makes their way up towards the building, when a scruffy man with a hat pulled down over his face and a slight hunch in his walk, almost like the Roadie, cuts them off. The man points to a piece of paper, and the LOD look to each other. Beast turns around and looks back to the car, when the man PUNCHES Vulture in the stomach ... and spins him around into a RUDE AWAKENING!!

Rude throws off his disguise and nails Beast with a right hand, and the 2 start exchanging punches! Sting dives in from behind another car and joins in! Sting and Rude smash Beast to the ground, then turn back to Vulture and kick him down some more! With the LOD laying, Sting and Rude slowly walk away, pointing and laughing.

The shot returns to Sting and Mean Gene.

Gene: My goodness! A brutal assault on the Legion of Death, Sting!

Sting: Ahhh ... I've got a confession to make, Gene.

Gene: What's that?

Sting: That wasn't REALLY the LOD.

Gene: WHAT?!

Sting: Yeah. See, we just found two guys with their same build ... slapped some paint on them, and there you have it. Those two guys don't even LOOK like Beast and Vulture.

Gene: What does this have to do with Flash Funk?!

Sting: PLENTY, Gene! Just as we saw myself and Rick Rude jumping the LOD here this week, we saw the LOD jump Flash last week. But you see, -

Gene: Wait a minute! Are you telling me that the LOD attack on Flash was like THIS?! A trick? A scam? A HOAX, if you will?!

Sting: You're catchin' on, Gene! You see, the last time myself and Starr went to see Flash, Dok Hendrix was kind enough to lay out some details about Flash's condition. Guys, do we have that tape cued up?

The screen changes back to the last hospital segment. Dok Hendrix stands in the hallway, looking into the camera.

Dok on the tape: I DO know, however, that Flash was released from the hospital not shortly after our last visit here.

Mean Gene: WHAT?!

Sting: You heard it!

Sting nods to someone off camera, who plays back Dok's comment a few times.

Dok: Flash was released from the hospital ... Flash was released from the hospital ... Flash was released from the hospital ...

Sting: Ha HA!! Gene, YOU payed close attention just now, but the LOD obviously DIDN'T!! As Dok pointed out to everyone, FLASH WAS DISMISSED FROM THE HOSPITAL!! He's gone home! He just goes for therapy now! Therefore, you could NOT attack Flash in his room, cause he no longer HAS ONE!!

Gene: What about the footage?! Sting: Oh, come on, Gene! The little nameplate reading Flash Funk ... while a nice touch and all, just FURTHER proves it's a hoax! Like I said, he LEFT! He doesn't have a room anymore! Coming into a dark room, putting a pillow over his face so we couldn't see him up close ... OF COURSE!! IT WASN'T REALLY HIM!! Clotheslining him from the bed ... another nice touch, but when you're in a nice, dark room all you need is somebody BUILT like Flash! It's a SCAM, and not even a GOOD one! And if you don't believe ME, call Flash and ask HIM!

Gene: Well, I don't know what to make of this! But Sting, I DO know that last week at the Queen of the Ring -

Sting: Hold on. Before we get to that, there's something I'd like to say.

Gene: By all means. Sting: JR, I know you're listening ... I've known you since I broke into the sport, and if I knew how you were gonna react to what I said, you've gotta know I wouldn't have said anything. All I wanted was to let you know how I felt. You don't deserve a guy like Jerry Lawler shouting at you and insulting you whenever he's around. And for any pain or embarassment for what I said caused your family, or for what Jerry Lawler and others have said, I apologize. This was never my intent, to see it come to this. But Jim, if you want to talk about this man-to-man, you know where you can find me.

Gene: Very good. Now, last week at Queen of the Ring ... we may have seen a fake Flash last week, but that wasn't a fake STARR BLAZE that the LOD got at! What about it?

Sting: Gene, I just don't understand the LOD anymore. Last night, by a fluke of miscommunication, they got a chance at Starr. The ONLY chance they will EVER have! And what did they do with it? They tried to style her HAIR! Not cripple her, not break her arms and legs ... they played around with her HAIR! Beast and Vulture paid their way through school working in a beauty salon, Gene, not many people know that.

Gene: HA!

Sting: But with all this talk about me and Rick and the Warrior and the Anvil looking down at Starr's grave, they go and do THIS?! Is THAT their idea of being violent?! Sure, Starr's pride is hurt. But I'm gonna be there to make sure she's ok! Beast, Vulture, you've really DISAPPOINTED me! Why are you mad at Starr in the first place? First, you should be mad at YOURSELVES! It was YOU who told Starr to please you! She didn't take it upon herself! And obviously, you didn't learn a thing about Starr! Cause if you thought being tied to your hospital beds and being hosed down with pink paint was bad, you ain't seen NOTHIN' yet!

Sting: They have no reason to be mad at Starr. They say they're mad at the Bladerunners. Again, WHY? The Warrior wasn't there! They're mad at the Anvil. He's just a party kind of guy! Where there's a good time, that's where he'll be! Gene, I think they're SCARED!

Gene: Scared?

Sting: SCARED! It was ME who took their skull, it was ME who had no business in their room ... why aren't they after ME?! No, they're going after STARR! Because they think she's not as TOUGH! And they're wrong in that thinking! LOD, I'm INJURED ... I've admitted to being hurt, and you STILL don't have the guts to come after me! You're walking COWARDS! COME AND GET ME!!! You say that we've sunk to your level? NO! YOU have only recently sunk to levels where I used to THRIVE! Don't think that I can't play the game! In fact ...

Sting reaches down and pulls up the LOD'S SKULL! He holds it aloft, and puts his ear to it.

Sting: Yes ... yes, I see.

Gene: What's it saying?!

Sting: It's saying ... something about the HAIR CLUB!

Sting drops the skull to the floor, as Gene touches at his head.

Sting: No! It's saying what I've known all along, and that's that the LOD is full of CRAP! This skull's not even REAL silver! It's a FAKE! And isn't it amazing how their great and powerful skull can be REPLACED so easily?!

Gene: Quite!

Sting: But next time we see this skull, it won't be looking like THIS, I can promise you! LOD, you're walking bullseyes! I'm gonna get my hands on you, and revenge will be SWEET! In fact ... Gene, I'm gonna issue the LOD a challenge!

Gene: A challenge?!

Sting: Is there an echo here?! YES, a challenge! It seems that at SummerSlam, the Warrior has a prior commitment! In fact, so do The Anvil, Bret Hart, and Ahmed Johnson, other guys I know would like a shot at the LOD. So being that those guys are busy, LOD ... if you've got the guts YOU'LL be busy at SummerSlam! Busy with the Stinger, that is.

Gene: You're issuing a challenge to the LOD for SummerSlam?! Who's your partner going to be??

Sting looks at Mean Gene.

Sting: No partner. I want a HANDICAP MATCH!

Gene: WHAT?!

Sting: Beast, Vulture ... 2 on 1 is your right down your alley. I'm giving YOU the upper hand! Let's see just how brave you really are!

Gene: Sting, with all due respect, you can't POSSBILY hope to win this match!

Sting: I know that, Gene. But getting my hands on the LOD will be worth whatever they can do to me! Every time I slam my fist into their faces, it'll be for Starr. It'll be for Bret and the Anvil! It'll be for Roxanne! It'll be for little Blade! It'll be for Arn and Chris! It'll be for EVERYBODY that's ever had to deal with your load of CRAP! NOBODY can escape the Stinger! Nobody ever HAS ... and nobody ever WILL! Boys ... crank up the music, cause THIS party is JUST STARTING!!! OWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

Sting hits a double bicept pose, looking right into the camera.

Gene: Amen! Let's get back to ringside!