WWF Superstars, August 9, 1997

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Pillman: Well Ross... you gonna talk to him man to man?

JR: If he really thinks it's necessary, then yes. But I think it's all said and done. I gave my opinion, and I stand by it. He gave his opinion and HE stands by it. I flew off the handle, and I apologized for it. That's all there is to it.

Pillman: Ah... you're BORING, Ross.

JR: Just doing my job!

DOK HENDRIKS INTERVIEWS

Dok Hendriks walks out and climbs into the ring...

Dok: All right folks, a lot happened at last week's Queen of the Ring show... most of it, unfortunately, pretty lousy! I don't know what's going on with Sable, though I've got my suspicions!

Dok: But right now it's time to bring out one of the ladies that evening who pulled the short straw, and then fell victim to a heinous backstage attack! We've all been wondering how the Legion of Death's actions have affected her... so without further ado, I give you... Starr Blaze!

The fans rise up to get their first glimpse of the Space Ranger since her "makeover"... there is nothing for a few moments, then... Starr's music begins to pulse through the speakers and she steps out from the curtains, turning around and holding up her hands to a HUGE ovation from the crowd. She is wearing a navy blue cap with the Space Rangers logo on it and "scrambled eggs" decorating the brim, and if possible seems to be even MORE upbeat than normal as she travels the aisle, slapping hands and grinning. She pauses at a group of kids and removes the cap momentarily to reveal her shaved head, letting the kids rub it - then she tweaks the nose of a little girl and puts the cap on her head, continuing down to ringside where she somersaults over the top rope and moves to stand by Dok. Dok seems to still be watching in bewilderment as Starr again turns around in the ring, showing that she STILL has the 'L O D' that was penned on her head, but has added some other letters so it now reads "Lame O DragQueens" - she points at it with both fingers and gets the crowd to start chanting "LAME! LAME! LAME!", then puts her hands on her hips and smiles up at Dok, waiting for him to begin the interview. Dok looks lost, like this is the last thing he expected...

Dok: Umm...

Starr: So Citizen Hendriks! Whaddaya think of the butch new 'do?

Dok: Well... it's, erm...

Starr gives up waiting for the fumbling Dok to answer and turns to the audience instead.

Starr: What do YOU guys think!?

Several cheers of support ring out, although with at least one loud wolf whistle which brings a tinge of red to Starr's cheeks as she grins at the response. There are boos mixed in, however... the camera picks up a couple of people holding a sign between them showing Beast and Vulture crossed out...

Starr: Hey hey hey, did I hear boos in there?! Forget about it! I said before a Ranger always comes back, and that goes double for her hair...

Dok finally recovers his tongue as the audience quiets.

Dok: No offense Starr, but I gotta admit, I liked the old locks better...

Starr: The price of freedom, Mr. Hendriks. Sacrifices have to be made... sure it's not a haircut I might've chosen myself but hey, you play the hand you're dealt. And if you've got Justice running in your veins you'll be beautiful no matter what the scum of the galaxy try to pull! I'm not gonna sit backstage crying over spilled strands or waltz out with a wig and act like nothing happened... I'm proud of who I am and what I stand for, and that's a transmission NOBODY's gonna jam!

The fans go NUTS again for a few moments...

Dok: So you're not angry with the LOD?

Starr: Angry, Mr. Hendriks? Well, of COURSE I'm angry... they hurt my new squad members in the Horsemen... and they continue to talk in language little kids out there shouldn't have to hear.

Starr: But y'know, somewhere in there they got REAL mixed up. They said they were gonna make ME bleed and what happens? They bust up everyone else and just do some barber work on me! HELLO! What was that?!?

Starr holds up a hand making an 'L' with her thumb and forefinger...

Starr: What was it, folks?

Some in the crowd pick up on the gesture and shout "LAME!" - Starr cups her free hand to her ear.

Starr: WHAT was it?!

A louder response. "LAME!!"

Starr: Lemme hear it ONE MORE TIME FROM EVERYONE!!!

A HUGE roar of "LAAAAAAAAAME!!!!!!" breaks out from the stands... Starr grabs the mike from Dok and stalks around the ring, holding it out so it picks up the noise, then returns to him and puts in back in his hand.

Starr: Yeah, LOD that had BETTER only be the start of your so-called "revenge" because it SUCKED... what was the point of THAT?! Whaddaya think I am, some sort of female Sampson? Is there anyone in residence on Planets Beast and Vulture?

Dok takes a breath to respond but Starr cuts him off...

Starr: Don't worry about answering that, Mr. Hendriks... those worlds have been barren ever since the LOD went into the hospital. Roxanne, just like me you've stood close to them... you've looked into those eyes of theirs... you may not be ready to admit it to yourself, but Hawk and Animal aren't home anymore. What we've got is a pair of glassy eyed zombies following the weird, evil whims of a new master - who takes HIS advice from an inanimate object!

Starr: Roxanne, I understand what you're saying, but I think you and a lot of the others in the Fed just don't get it yet... it's not a matter of "feeding the fire" with this group. They said it themselves, their only purpose is to hurt, maim, and spread darkness wherever they go... all the Smoking Gunns did was win a match against them once, and they were lacerated! Simply put, whether or not you provoke them, the LOD *will* attempt to hurt you... it's only a matter of time. So there's nothing to be gained by ignoring or placating them, and nothing to be lost by fighting back. Mostly they're still just a bad joke, but it won't be long before they really start figuring out how to serve the forces of Evil. That'll happen if they're not stopped, and if it happens everyone better be prepared.

Starr pauses to let that sink in, then continues.

Starr: As far as stopping them? I think the key is in what I said above. Dr. Death is the one who hauled 'em to the dark side... take HIM out of the equation and maybe, just maybe, we can get the LOD back. So think about that Roxanne... I don't know the guys that were once known as Hawk and Animal as well as you did. If anyone can get them away from his influence I'd guess it'd be you, but until Dr. Williams is somehow dealt with I'd say your crusade to help them is a lost cause, and might pretty soon be lost forever.

Dok: Yowza! Pretty grim prognosis, Colonel!

Starr: Just the facts as I see 'em, Mr. Hendriks.

Dok: Well, you've given some advice to Roxanne... what are your OWN plans for the LOD?

Starr: Me? Plans?

Starr tries to look as innocent as possible.

Starr: Oh I don't have any plans, really...

Dok: No thoughts of revenge? You're taking this whole affair AWFULLY well...

Starr: Why shouldn't I? All they did was just add a bit more gleam to my sparkling self!

Starr tilts her head slightly so it catches the spotlights, grinning.

Starr: Hey Mr. Hendriks, just think... a few weeks and I can have a crewcut grown out just like Sting's! We can be a matching pair! And I'd also have to say it's gonna be pretty darn hard for the evildoers to get the upperhand by pulling my hair for awhile... I mean, JEEZ! - seems like every match I've had recently someone's been yanking on it. The LOD did me a FAVOR!

Dok: Hmm, well when you put it that way, I guess there ARE some silver linings to the cloud...

Starr: Yep! And a big storm about to bust loose on the LOD's heads!

Dok: But I thought you said you didn't have any plans?!

Starr: Oh *I* don't, Mr. Hendriks... but there's several pretty angry gentlemen in this Fed who were assaulted by the felons in question, and they're not the types to turn the other cheek, you know... (Starr leans in to whisper) They didn't get the spiffy free haircut! I think they're jealous!

Dok laughs and Starr tips him a wink.

Dok: Any other comments?

Starr: Hmm... Taylor Tech. Dead. Nuff' said. I'm going to be on Livewire soon so be sure to send me your questions, all you fans out there! Oh, and I was meaning to ask YOU Dok... I know this is a bit of a sore spot, but, what's up with Sable?!

Dok: Well, I don't know! Everything was going great I thought, then suddenly...

Dok shrugs helplessly. Starr puts a hand on his shoulder.

Starr: Don't worry Mr. Hendriks. You know what I think? I think maybe Mr. DiBiase got to her as part of his Summerslam Master Plan! Maybe I oughtta have HIL check out her account transactions of late. Heck, she might even be the mystery fifth partner for his team!

Dok: Sable?!? She's not a wrestler!

Starr: She CLAIMS she's not... but she does some kickboxing and such... who knows?

Dok: That's true, she's no slouch in the workout department! Still, I can't believe she'd dump me just for Ted DiBiase's MONEY! Then again I just can't believe she dumped me, period! And for a soon-to-be married man, no less...

Starr: You'll find someone else soon enough! She was just bad news! Hey, how about Roxanne? You seem to like her and she seems kinda lonely...

Dok starts to blush and stammer, tugging at his collar.

Dok: Well, I... that is to say... erm...

Starr notices Dok's discomfort and looks around at the thousands of people watching...

Starr: Whoops! Here, c'mon... we can talk some more in back! Bye folks, enjoy the rest of the night!

Starr waves to the cheering crowd and helps Dok out before heading to the back with him, talking away...